Siddhartha Gautama was born in around 583 BC, near Nepal in Shakya Dynasty. When Prince Siddhartha was only a few days old, a sage prophesied that the Prince would either be a great military conqueror or a great spiritual teacher. Hi s father- King Suddhodana, believing the first outcome, prepared his son accordingly. He raised Gautama in great luxury and shielded him from any knowledge of religion and human suffering. With time, the Prince reached the age of 29 with little experience of the world outside the walls of his Royal Palace.
One day, the curiosity got the better of him; Prince Siddhartha asked a charioteer to take him on a ride through the countryside out of the Palace. There while he was enjoying the Greens & the surrounding Natural Beauty, he happened to see an aged man, a sick man, and a corpse. The rude realities of old age, disease, & death had sickened the Prince. He had never seen anything close to this. He was so moved at the sight of such grave realities & sufferings. How amazed he was to learn that so is that happens to all who is born; & all who is born would reach an age of helpless ness- being old & then eventually die leaving all around grieving & mourning of their losses.
Further down, he then sees a wandering ascetic. Queer enough, but the wanderer had an aura of peace & contentment to his being. He looked as if he wasn’t worried of anything. He questioned his charioteer about such complacence- when he explained that the ascetic was one who had renounced the world and sought release from fear of death and suffering; and hence, such Peace.
He returns to his palace all lost. He seemed to have become oblivion of the pleasures that were at his Royal Disposal. After some time, his wife Yasodhara, gave birth to a son- Rahula; & even that too did not please him.
One night, he just left the palace while his wife & the child were still asleep & took to wandering..
~*~*~
We all may have read & probably even studied Gautam Buddha’s life story some time while growing up; for the benefit of the readers, I have produced it yet again.
While Prince Siddharth may have felt dejected upon learning the basic or harsh realities of life at an youthful age, he also happened to ignore the fact that he was a prince, a Husband & a father too. I am not trying to assess what he had done but only trying to analize why I am being subjected to such sufferings in this life..
I was the Gautama Buddha..
That’s precisely the reason why I didn’t get dad’s proximity even though when he is alive & doing well for himself. Since I left my family & went away in search of gaining enlightenment, leaving my son & wife in such desolation, I have been subjected to similar circumstances in this birth. My dad had moved on leaving his family when I was 12 years of age, making me understand how it feels.. My own son also may have suffered emotionally; since he was a Prince’s son, I assume or would want to believe that he may not have been affected much. In this birth, I have witnessed to how my mom went helpless & was reduced to being a fake humanoid, she being completely incapacitated; I believe this is all because of what I had done being Siddharth..
Maybe some Good Karmas did balance my wrong ones in this birth & so, mom went on to live till I completed my school studies.
The greatest set- back- I’m born as a Woman.
Even though I am proud of the fact & love myself more than anyone else, I strongly feel that I won’t have felt even an iota of what I feel now than had I been a Man. I have realized my mistake & now am believer of what Swami Yogananda says that in today’s times, it is practically not advisable to renounce all & move on. If born as a Human, we need to fulfill our Karmas 1st before we move on to search for the Almighty. Rather in everything that we do, we should Thank Him & think of Him as if all duties are performed to please him. Strangely, mom would never let me read any spiritual book, she believed I would leave all & eventually give up the Familial Life!!
How I struggled after my dad had went absconding & then after mom’s demise- is something that stabs me in my heart till today. How I was forced out of my home by Uncle & then further moved on to yet another violative era is only reflective of my past Karma.
The other day some one commented that I shouldn’t go the Sylvia Plath Route- I wish to point out- atleast she made a writer of herself—Thank you for the Compliment. My past Karmas may be creating chakras in this birth; so, which Law of Karma says that I should be all giving & forgiving. As mush as I know of, more than the miscreant; the supporter of one is the sinner. By not taking Dad & others to task, I would end up being a Supporter & then again, yet another life for me to realize my mistake & try to serve my destiny. Who knows I may also end up being dumb or crippled like mum & then fail to do anything of what I can or wish to now..?
I deeply regret having done whatever I did. I don’t wish to regret again in my next life. I may have attained enlightenment by eloping from my Palace; in this birth, I am thrown exactly in the same situation for me to resolve & balance my Karmas. Once for all, let me straighten it up & get free of this Whirlpool.
Its my turn now to perish the Demons & seek Enlightenment. I have gone through loads of troubles already; now wish to liberate by concluding what my dad had initiated- Atrocities to me & mom. I may be doing very well & so people don’t quite notice the vendetta in me; the fact is, I need to be standing Firm & have space to support my feet upon before I punch the Evil doer. Not many people have supported my for my cause- I wont try name anyone here for it’s my battle against Injustice & my balancing of Karmas; so no hard feelings.
Though Buddha was reluctant to teach in the beginning, I am certainly not. Here I am, ready & roaring to charge back & in everyone’s view. I may not end up “teaching” conventionally, but definitely do something in the manner wherein, everyone would understand that what is Violence, Injustice & then how taking them all in one’s stride is only degenerative to one’s being.
I have already initiated & taken a few steps towards balancing my Karmas right; soon enough I’ll post here the rest of the developments too.
Message: Very Simple.
- Please fulfill your Duties before pursuing your own Ambitions.
- Pay your Dues before starting Charity.
- Renunciation/Abandonment would only gain you small time Profit.
- What goes around comes around; act accordingly.
I would not sit & impart discourses to others on their situations; instead, I wish to show them the path & ways to fight for oneself on their own.
Also Read – As I am
Olivia's life instances... 
Wow! I had to scroll a LONG way down to find this comment box.
(What, no ‘Jump to Comments’ button?)
We are all Buddha; we all just don’t know it yet.
Thanks Eric- I guess we all are in one way or the other.. 🙂
I believe ‘Jump to comments” is as per themes in WP.. Incase you know otherwise and know how to do it here- please letme know- I would be happy to put it up on my site too..
Loads of Love xox
Hi Olivia, so sorry your computer is giving you trouble. I’m interested to hear what you have to say when you are able.
Gayle xoxo
SURE HONEY PIE- XOXOX
I too have a very analytical mind and used to try to figure out karmic relations as to how this or that happened in my life and then read what the Dalai Lama said and thought it wasn’t serving me to try, and I sure don’t want to go nuts–I don’t think we can ever truly know. I just let it go.
We only have this lifetime to deal with–I certainly don’t remember any others–do you?
I had to laugh when you said ignorant people are to be treated like a toddler–so true. We must have utmost patience and forgiveness for their frailties. I would want people to be forgiving of mine as well. 🙂
Thanks for sharing your life with me, Olivia.
Love and peace,
Gayle xoxo
Any day Gayle- it feels much loving ever since we met..
Discussing about the book that was forbidden and follow its directions- My mom would definitely have gone crazy watching this- if not with my whims!! I don’t know what I was- but feel wasn’t too good with people- or maybe like Buddha or Lahiri Mahashaya- left all in name of Awakening!! Anyday I come aware of what I was, would mean that I am Enlightened- That’s when one reads all his births like we check History of browser!
I maybe sounding a little larger but really don’t expect anything in back- if they don’t forgive- despite my efforts- they do it bad on their share of Karmas- I yet forgive them. 1 for hurting me, 2 for not forgiving me.. I don’t wish to sound Divine and it is damn tiring but having achieved this state- I feel so much at peace. Anyone around me is aware of what principles I follow- I make no bones about it- yet someone wants to stay “human”, well I have my own self to bother about. I mean instead of being after him/her, I work on my ownself..
Gayle, meeting you is only a miracle- I have said that before- haven’t I? I would go further to explore this connection to my advantage- and yours too.. Who was to imagine that writing poetries would stumble Me with You?
Stay Blessed Always.. Loads of Love My Dear
xoxox
Feeling at peace is a very valuable thing to possess, Olivia. You have come a long way if you have that in your life. You’re right too, we need to work on ourselves before we can be any good to anyone else. Although certainly we can be of service to other people but not worry about which path they may want to take or not take. That’s their business.
I never expected stumbling upon someone like you and a couple of others who may share some of my views too. What a bonus of joining this poetry group!
We certainly will be sharing more as time goes on won’t we–I look forward to it.
Love and blessings…
Gayle xoxo
Yes Gayle- certainly.. My apologies- the system has crashed so was unable to reply earlier.. Right now at a Cyber Cafe..
I am certainly blessed that I stumbled upon you- yesterday I reached yet another conclusion..!!
All set to write all of that soon enough.. 🙂
I couldn’t have asked for more- I am going to share whole of Me.. Let me keep in mind that my bigges ever question was answered last evening.. Now coming to terms with it is what remains.
Wishing you a wonderful weekedd
Regards and Loads of Love xoxoxox
Have a wonderful weekend, Olivia and a Happy Halloween on the 31st!
I look forward to hearing what big questions was answered for you–that’s great.
No apologies are necessary. 🙂
Love and peace always,
Gayle xoxo
Hey Gayle
I am missing you so much- My PC…@$%#$%@$%@$%@ I hope something better comes once and for all.. Oh yes- wait till I give you the details- very big one!!
I hope you have a little idea about NanoWriMo- if not just google it. I have decided to give it a go this November.. More related News to come on JP site..!
Love you so big bits xox
I too learned to sing/chant many devotional shabads while in the ashram. I still chant along to CDs of some of my favorites from those days. They touch my heart deeply.
I’m so glad that your feelings toward your mother have been mellowed and you are feeling more peaceful. I seem to have some struggles in that department myself.
I don’t want you to get a wrong impression of me, even though I am very devoted to my spiritual growth, I in no way consider myself some exalted being. I am still very much of this plane of existence but surely would love to achieve the highest freedom we can attain–just like you would like. Perhaps we can inspire each other.
Thank you for all of your love and support, Olivia. I so appreciate it.
Love and peace,
Gayle xoxo
YOU ARE SO HUMBLE..
That shows your having achieved that power to understand things and apply logics accordingly..
To be able to remain pacified in no matter whatever the situation maybe what takes us all up.. it is very tough to forgive the one who has been nasty towards.. Even I am fighting that quarter. I have always been avenging- now I am breaking the pattern myself by brooding over and letting go of those things- of course not before grasping the logic behind..!!
It is so humbling- if incase I be of any inspiration in whatever mode to you.. 🙂
I’ll always hover around you like one restless soul-
So much love My Dear Gayle.. xoxox
I have come to realize (at least from my own viewpoint) that there is a lot of suffering that most humans go through in this world. No one is exempt from it.
Certainly the knowledge I have gained through my spiritual practice has helped me cope with many things but I still struggle with relationship issues, health/body challenges, etc. I do feel very blessed that I have been given some tools that help focus my mind on higher ideals so I don’t get too bogged down in the pain and struggle of life.
You know these tools as well as I do. I’m sure we can be an inspiration to each other–you already are to me–your openess and enthusiasm for wanting to work on yourself and make peace with your “demons”. To have that self-awareness to realize that there is something more out there to strive for is no small thing–and you have that already.
Yay for you and yay for me!
Much love,
Gayle xoxo
I had typed in a huge reply and no sooner I had hit enter- the system had crashed- @$%#%@@ (that’s my sign for profanity.. LOLss)
Disclaimer: Whatever you read now is completely my thoughts over my experiences- no impositions..
We suffer because
1- Karmic imbalance in previous and also this birth,
2- Ignorance of the facts
They preach the good “virtues” for this simple reason. If we practice them from young, we would already on our way to become better ones. eg. It’s not easy to forgive everyone- yet one should- that way,
1- he would balance his past negative karmas
2- not breed hatred
3- live as an example himself
That you have read me so close in small exchange of comments is so surprising. Yes, I have been wanting to kill my DEMONS. That said, I have even apologized to people whom I had not been fair to; but could not resent because of the situations..!!
Relationships- this is why I am contented the way I am..
1- As I said- I must have been Buddha- real stoic one to my own people..
2- After having taken so much crap, I just don’t wish to invest any more emotionally
3- Relationships too are based on “mutual” understanding and not free flowing or en- expecting..
4- getting involved in a relationship would mean, expectations, unfulfilment, disappointment- craving- the cycle keeps getting vicious- and again unbalancing Karmas..
5- Anyways, once awakened, it feels shallow. Actually, they still feel hollow.
6- Anytime I have thought of getting into 1 again, I have been damned thinking of getting caught into emotional wrangle..
So I guess, I am fine even if no relationships are happening.. All I want is Enlightenment- that way, I’ll be above all such “humanly” virtues..
I do try to follow the righteous path. Very tough but I have enjoyed the return too. Infact, I feel used up while smiling to all and cheering to others’ occasions. Now after having embraced the logic and benefits; I have distanced myself so well that anyday they choose to forget me won’t hurt me.. you know I am becoming Indifferent. Obviously balancing of emotions too is required.. So instead of loving only a couple of “related” people and getting deceive as a rule; I now try to Love all and expect none in return..
A very Yay to Me and a bigger Yay to you.. Loads of Love and wishes- xoxox
Dearest Olivia,
I can so relate to everything you wrote here. (I did recognize those symbols to mean profanity)! 🙂 I have done the same–I’m not a prude and you won’t offend me with use of profanity–now and then.
As I said before, we all do suffer in this life but we can choose how to react to that suffering. That is the real trick. Do we react in anger and retribution or do we remain calm and allow the negative energy to pass us by without harm. I would choose the latter path. Easier said than done though–right? Apologizing to those you have hurt is a positive action for sure.
I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten deeper into my practice of understanding things clearer, that my need for relationships have diminished too and I am more particular as to who I will allow into my life. I agree with your practice of loving all but expecting nothing in return–because that truly is the only way you will not be disappointed and create more negative karma for yourself.
I accept that I am part of this world for a reason and don’t try to figure out my karma and what I did wrong or right to have created my life the way it has played out. The Dalai Lama said in a book that I read about him, that people shouldn’t try to figure out their karma, that it can actually drive a person insane. So I have given up trying to know the how, why or what has gone wrong or right in my life. It just IS! If we can accept what is without placing “right” or “wrong” labels on things, we will be all the freer.
That’s my goal. 🙂
Cheers to us!
Gayle xoxo
SUPER CHEERS..!!
Blame it on my analytical mind- I try to look for root- cause. I guess it gives deeper understanding. That said, I don’t ignore the present too.. You can say I do a lot of retrospection, questioning myself un-apologetically and looking into hidden aspects.. It is taxing, yet relieving.. It was my questions to myself those have lead me here. It gives a greater understanding preventing me from making more mistakes. It has as if un-knotted my state of being. You can say have washed me of my ignorance!
I haven’t had any teacher- only that book- reading over twice and a couple of more from the same author.. Here I am- with completely different approach towards Life and facts.. Good I don’t have a teacher. He would have made it easier for me to follow- but it is tough to experiment, establish and then lead. I feel I am the chosen one.
Yes, Labels don’t help- they only create further confusions- your greatness lies in your ability to accept and smile about it- understanding the darn thing too. Like I say- do whatever- as long as you can comeback and talk about it with pride and logic- if you can keep your head the way it should be- held up- then you “ARE” or else be blessed with the repercussions.
At the same time, I also brood and plan my future steps- like we do our ambition.
I now forgive not because once upon a time he had been good to me but because I “let go of it”- I don’t wish to harbor hatred. Maybe once I was bad- let him balance all of that- right away and even if I had been good to him, his rudeness would add up to my positive balance- who knows, someday he understands my Logic and adapts too? It’s like bringing up a child- only here, everyone else is a kid. Any ignorant person has to treated as toddler- caring for his emotions and pampering his tantrums- yet, being firm in telling him his shortcomings- should he ends up hurting you. It’s pretty tricky actually. This way- you actually end up becoming a “teacher” and a “mother” both together to everyone and all.
Like Yogi said you only cry till you see the Divine and carry a headache- it’s been long now- I feel that moment of Bliss is just around- for me to be able to enjoy-
Super Luck to My Dearest Gayle towards her travel..
CHEERS to both of Us… xoxoxox
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When I read in “Autobiography of a Yogi” that if anyone should utter Babaji’s name with sincerity that that person would receive a blessing, I clung to that. I too would call on him for protection and guidance and at my most sad, would even go to sleep with his image clutched in my hand. Makes the tears come just remembering…
When I first opened my blog–just in August this summer–I asked Trisha how to get more people to come visit and she suggested joining Jingle’s poetry rally–and wow–look at all the traffic. People come to read my poetry entries and then have ended up commenting on some of my personal stories I’ve shared. It’s been so rewarding and has helped lift my mood. 🙂
I too have read stories of Sai Baba–very inspiring. I actually took Kriya initiation from one of Yogananda’s direct disciples. His name was Swami Hariharananda Giri and had lived in Yogananda’s ashram in India many years ago. He studied with Sri Yukteshwar as well. I feel most blessed to have been his student. He was very humble and sweet and I was fortunate to have been able to personally serve him when he would come to stay and teach here. I still have letters that he wrote to me and my (now ex) husband. He died a few years ago.
We did have Skype but it has gotten a virus or something and can’t be used for now. So if there’s anything you would like to keep just between the two of us, you can use my email and I will do the same for you. Thanks for being you, Olivia! What a shining light you are…
Love and peace,
Gayle xoxo
** Big Blush **
Jokes aside- Swami Harshananda was Yogi’s direct student as in successor sort of!! OMG, I never thought I would gt to meet someone directly from his Ashram..!! I am definitely the one to be attaining super- mortality!! Being a human and god-like both..
I have goose- bumps all over.. how could this be.. Babaji is certainly watching us- definitely over!! Look at us- why don’t we share the similar “come to my Blog” story? I can hardly breathe right now.. Kriya Initiation- do you know if practiced for 8 years at a stretch will make you super- human..? Gayle.. I may be slammed as the biggest slump around- but who else can stamp it better than you??
I have already compiled mega part of my biography- I don’t mind discussing here.. anytime you feel you wish to share between us- please do.. I am an open book for now.. completely open.. Mistakes, guilts and everything else is out in the open- I need to balance My Karmas by accepting and understanding whatever I have done.. Although, I haven’t really made many!! Yet, all is in open.. I have no embarrassment in other knowing about me- I mean- it’s my Life- I have lived it- why being embarrassed- I embrace everything that has happened to me.. with passage of time, I have felt that things are mellowing their repercussions on me..
I am not the light yet.. but you are definitely the direction.. My Dear Gayle- stay shining always- you pepped me up again.. I feel divine already!! I have started Blogging only a few months back and I have been blessed!! Oh no- I don’t wish to cry- it hits me bad when combined with my Vodka shots..LOLsss not at all a compulsive one- infact, as Yogi says, one should try everything and try to achieve a win- over instead of letting that win you over.. So neither am I addicted nor ever affected!! On the contrary I become more conscious.. Pure state of Bliss is like being drunk- you know it all why am I scribbling it back to you..?
Loads of Love and peace and yes, strength and perseverance too.. xoxox
I did not live in Yogananda’s ashram while a student of Swami Hariharananda–I want to make that very clear. He had come here to the US and I met him here in Orlando when he was giving a lecture at a local college. My husband and I then became his students for several years. I offered my services as secretary of the group here and we met for weekly meditation classes in between times when he would come and teach. He told me once that I had been his mother in our previous life. He was always very sweet and always called me “Mother” in the most loving way–and referred to me as Gayle-Ma when he would write to me.
I know I attracted him to my life and must have had some very good karma to be so infused with spirituality. And before him, is where I learned Sikhism from Yogi Bhajan and then moved into an ashram for about 8 years. My two daughters were born in the ashram and have Hindu names–Saraswati and Mahan Lakshmi. They are very spiritual themselves and live in a multi-religious ashram called Kashi about 1 1/2 hours from where I live. I have attended intensive courses there and many pujas and holidays. It is on a sprawling acreage on a beautiful river. It is very peaceful there. All religions are represented at Kashi–everyone is welcome.
Please “scribble” to me whenever you would like. I’m enjoying our newfound connections. 🙂
Much love and blessings… xoxo
Exactly, that you lived in an Ashram is what entices me.. I read somewhere at your site that you have spent some years living in an ashram. You were addressed as Ma..? What else one would need?
Beautiful names your daughters have.. The chances are that they too are awakened. After talking to you for the past few days; I realized 2 big conclusions last evening. I had been holding those against mom- not anymore- I am still writing that post out- will publish sometime today!
Gayle, your name as Bodhi Rose had attracted me the 1st day I had read your Blog name. Yet that voice over my shoulder kept telling me to read you when am un-occupied so a couple of weeks delay in “meeting”. While you talk about religions, I used to sing when in school. Have sung in almost all Indian languages and dialects!! Devotional songs included. I walked in the corridor towards music room when they rehearsed a “shabad” I went inside and in audition sang that song.. The rest as they say was history! I had picked up the lines listening to them while I was walking towards the music room. I was may be 7 or 8 years of age. I was an iconic figure in my school- academics and extra- curricular included.
I couldn’t pursue singing as my career- yet all of these do point out that I have to pull myself up the mundane. More or less done- Now I need to give a super- finish to myself being a mortal. Isn’t one needed to give a finishing touch to his mortal self before proceeding towards immortality..? I am wanting my writing to do that.. Both gain me a name and super awakening. It’s no less than a miracle that after interacting with you- I have come to peace with 2 grudges that I had so sadly held for so long. Yesterday, it just mellowed- I could see the most relevant logics behind why it had happened- I’ll give you credits in my post too..
I am enjoying my new found connection too- it’s like Yogi coming back to me, for me to have him and also bless me in my effort to write.. Yeah- please bless me Gayle- I would need loads!!
Regards and loads of Love.. xoxox
I could so strongly feel your passion here–for your life and spiritual path, Olivia. You just may have been the Buddha. You are a wonderful inspiration to me–I’m so glad that Yogananda brought us together! 🙂
I suffered a great deal in my childhood and through my marriage and the remnants remain and affect me still. But I know the truth of this world and it’s illusory ways and that helps keep me balanced. I have been floundering a bit lately because I need to find work and the unemployment rate is very high in my state these days–I was losing my enthusiasm and feeling rejected. But then I started writing, which has always been something I enjoyed, and I am feeling so much better.
And at Trisha’s invitation, joined the poetry rally–it’s been so nice and I’ve met some very nice people–and then my spiritual guide brought you to me–I’m so grateful! If you would ever like to talk privately to me, you can email me at bodhirose@yahoo.com.
Much love and peace…
Gayle xoxo
Would love to talk to you- mail you i.e., I don’t have the facility to live chat yet.. 😦 perhaps someday Telepathy would make us converse- AMEN
Thankyou My Dear. This post was written in my initial days of Blogging so may have been in a lighter mood..!! I feel very strongly about many things- this included..!!
Anyone who has been through tough times is bound to be humble- it shows in you too.. A huge spat of self- pride and being humble at all times- that’s how one becomes.. I wish and pray you gain stability soon enough financially.. That’s another ugly necessity of our Lives!!
Gayle, you have made me smile by reading this one- I told you I am being referred to as Crazy already- LOLsss
Oh yes.. it was YOGI who has made us meet.. One another fact. Till date, whenever I am stuck, I pray and meditate upon Babaji and Sai baba- since both the names have a baba attached- that’s how I look at it!! I get a solution in no time. Infact, when I had split my poetry blog, I had prayed that some traffic be sent.. Look at it- once Jingle invited me to join Rally and then I decided to hop on as an official, this particular blog has become the happening one- 🙂 Very un- important maybe- but it can’t be really overlooked!! How else could one witness a miracle..!! How can one ignore that it all started on a Thursday- Sai Baba’s day.. I was born on a Thursday too- so I am guessing I am blessed..
And so are you.. will be in touch.. we have already spent many years being oblivion.. My ID must be showing in the comment- freakoutwitholivia@gmail.com
Loads of wishes my dear Gayle.. xoxox
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