This one is about Peculiar Habits that we tend to carry with us no matter wherever we go without our knowing of them. Some of them may be as simple as saying “Dude” or “Mate” as we speak. Some of them maybe as irritating as having to hear others cribbing. Who doesn’t love to Gossip or Flirt? We all know about them. Before I move on to more serious ones, let me begin with my common peeves.
I rush to the washroom for shower the 1st thing in the morning. At times, mom used to create all obstructions possible to distract me & failed disastrously.
I just can’t stand to see anyone in the morning when I wake up. Dont even like talking; much less listening to the Devotional Songs on the latest Bollywood Item Tunes.. Let God not bless me; I’ll live. I am still like that moody kid who wakes up from his sleep & doesn’t smile for hours. I used to tell mom to keep snoozing till late while I would prepare the morning cuppa & go to school. She could then get up lazily. She didn’t understand my behavior, neither do I. I can’t enjoy a Bed Tea, I need to floss 1st. Neither cant I eat for an hour or two after waking up; no matter what time it may be.
Waking up lazily, going down to pick the newspaper while the tea brews & may be Ben10 on Sundays; is a Perfect beginning of my Day. I have had days together locked myself up in the room all by myself. No internet, no cellphone, no TV, no boyfriend.. Just I & my Solitude!!
Palam Vihar lacks of basic transport; commutation in Gurgaon is an issue (Millenium City that so it is!!) Ricks are too risky; I almost ended to breathe in an accident while I worked in Baxy Infosol. No points for guessing that I don’t own a car yet 😦 . I believe that my being in such habit (at) is only helping me in my Current Phase- yeah that’s what it is.. I am waiting for this 1 also to roll over.
Coming back to such habits, I rush for a wash (yet another 1) as soon as I enter my house. I can’t just come to think of moving around or sitting on bed when I have just come from outside. Be it my Paradise (garden), any small trip to market (once every 6 months) or otherwise. I now work from home so that’s saving my 2 more showers (1 before going & 1 after coming back). May be I was a Fish- my friend commented. The same is my habit even when I used to stay at my friends’ place; I am turning into a recluse now.
I keep thinking of what the other person may be thinking of me. No, I am not insecure, just hate to get labeled. More often than not, they fail to understand me & end up passing judgements that definitely I would have survived without as well, & certainly don’t wish to offer any explanations about whatsoever!! It affects my state of being for the next 7 days at least. I don’t even want them to understand me. Isn’t that supposed to be a Gradual Process & jargons like conformability or knowing each other with time stand to play their roles here? C’mon, how would you deal with the questions like- Don’t you feel awkward that you don’t have any Parental Support? My God! How are you able to cope up on your own, why don’t you get married? This was just after I had lost my mom & home, both. I now wish to go back & tell them that I felt great about it; actually I qualify to be the 8th Wonder of this world & deserve to be at the 1st place. Perhaps, the next Galaxy should be named after me- Olivia the Proud Orphan. Humor the questions like- Dear don’t you miss a man/woman in your life? No, thanks, I am a proud Cyborg; lack emotions & hence am pretty satiated!! Why do people jump on to fire their obnoxious set of questions; & not wait before smearing the already dead body into their ridiculous comments. My problem is not with answering their questions but with having to even listen to them.
That’s the next– why they have to ask so many questions? Won’t they be able to gulp the morsel otherwise ? Just because I am a Tea lover, I should now buy a Microwave; & then do what with it? Sit with the ingredients inside one & enjoy the brew till the end of this world? The quantity of food he brings for his lunch may not be enough for my breakfast alone- But I definitely need to buy a new Cellphone!! A cellphone is a cellphone is a cellphone- Period. I would buy a Handicam if I want a Good Camera, & a Sony System if wish to listen to quality music- you know what I mean? Well I do have a Sony Walkman that Crowns my Head in my trips to Delhi Markets (only in winter) & used to Grace me during my tenure in Convergys. Then again, I should adopt a child because I happen to be a Feminist, I can teach him right set of values.. Where is it going? He is a father of two kids- is this what Parenthood has done to him; or maybe, this is what he has made out of it. I asked him that who was to bring me up, to which he said I was more or less adopted! I stay in a Company provided accommodation & hence his logic.
It s a huge responsibility to bring up one, you need to lose yourself in the Process. I don’t wish to make a child & then be able to give nothing. I feel 1st I need to sort out my Life, Only then can I think of such a commitment. My own life being in a puddle deeper than the Mariana Trench; how can I start or end up diving yet another being into it? One has to be firmly placed both Socially & Financially before graduating to the other level. I am not!! It’s a lovely thought when my friend tells me to get into motherhood & enjoy the momentum; for me it’s a different Ball Game altogether. I have observed & experienced that how this Society never ever closes its eye on a vulnerable Woman; I don’t wish to suffer the same yet again because of my child or create another one!! What I mean is that I don’t wish to compromise for him; nor do I would want him to. This “cellphone- adoption” guy is a self proclaimed friend of mine. With friends like him- I won’t need of any more show downers. I call him “species” & he knows it. Then again, “why don’t I join Company Secretary Course- that way I would learn more about Company Laws..” (Say what again?)
I love to read people- not because I am curious about them per se, but because I wish to understand Human Nature, their thoughts behind their Acts. I feel that a few are yet to grow up while others possess traits that closely resemble our Wild ancestors (animals)
My neighbor M loves to abuse her fiancé so loud that she doesn’t hesitate to talk to her parents now also in the same tone & tenor in complete view of the neighbors. Her mother had called Sonia one day & asked her to work for them. This was before she worked full time at my place. Auntie M wanted my name, my relationship status, my work status, and my overall status till my maid retorted that they had been asking all irrelevant questions if were seriously wanting to employ her. Voyeurism is their flagship; maybe auntie M initiated it, or maybe not..
Heena is the lady I had asked to send her maid for work. This was my previous accommodation in Palam Vihar. She stayed in the building opposite to that of mine. While I told Sonia that she ought to know them by names; whoever she worked for, instead of initiating a new Dance Form in trial to inform me of the other houses she worked in, Heena also passed her cell number through her (why?). I repeated the act. Like a fool that I so am, I went & visited her; she had called me on cell. Now, she wanted to know everything about me since the time of my birth till I met her (I so wish I had not!!). Her questions were:
- Why was my Kitchen so orderly? (She had made it a point to come & “check out my place” of dwelling too)
- Why I am in no hurry to get along with a Man?
- Why was I shying away to get married?
- Don’t I miss my dad?
This was right at the 1st meeting over a mug of tea, 2 toasts & savories all in the same steel plate. Mind you, she was married for 4 years & yet had not learnt how to serve to guests.. I am sorry, I was supposedly her “friend” & not an uninvited guest. She also dared to inform me that she judged everyone by their shoes & looked at mine. Was I glad that I had taken out my Fancy Slippers even to go to the next building? The next day we met, on her insistence & in spasm of my recurring foolishness, she was surprised to see me & had wanted to know where I was heading to- I was DRESSED UP. Wonder, how would she have remarked if I had actually dressed up?? By the way, she worked in an MNC & was some Vandana before Vishal happened to her. She had changed her name after the ceremony since her in-laws wanted her to!! I have seen her name on Bank Documents envelope that I had picked up from ground floor & had handed over to her. She bitched non- stop about her in- laws till she picked up on my Single status.
My last apartment 1st floor auntie practically enquired for 5 times if my Flat was a residence or an office.
- The 1st time she stopped my Maid for her Enquiries
- The 2nd time, she did so, she was sternly told by Sonia that that was a home & next time she has any queries, she should welcome herself upstairs.
- The 3rd time she drummed my ears
- The 4th time, pitying my ears I offered her a round tour of my place.
- The 5th time it so happened, I decided that I am just going to look through her for all practical purposes.
- Her Daughter-in-law though had all the cheek to force me to recall having known them when the other day she bumped herself into me in the Local Veggie Market. Hi, I am Charu, where do you stay now?– Like, do I know you? Of course I don’t. Remember, I didn’t take a round tour at your place ever? Moreover, you didn’t socialize when were a neighbor; you aren’t one anymore, then why should I care?
So, maybe it’s Sonia who is to be blamed. Why she is asked by all about me?
The Ground Floor Surd Uncle was always curious about why I shopped so much Veggies when I am the only mouth to be fed. Perhaps, he failed to observe that I had a “pretty” (& a) “large” body attached to it. He stayed with his parents & brother’s family with a young working daughter. Their restaurant in Malviya Nager was sealed in the MCD Drive. He was separated within 6 months of his marriage, 20 years back. They owned an untrained Bull Dog who would never let me come down since he was kept unleashed. The beast complemented the owner. He was one of those- the beast won’t say anything (of course it wont- it will bark & bite). He himself had admitted several times though that the canine was untrained, temperamental & would bite all at his fancy.
Maybe some good sleep would help me.. Infact, it won’t till all the creases on the bed are flattened. I in my sleep too would keep getting up, tidy the sheet & go back to snooze- mom was the 1st one to observe my habit. I still do it. There’s a Border Line difference between Cynical & Perfectionist; I keep getting wedged between the two.
I would deny my stomach’s Hunger Needs if I wouldn’t have that Oh so Pungent Bulb sitting Mauve with me. Onion is the word. It’s perfect to describe me as a veggie- Lilac, Green & Pungent. You keep peeling it skin by skin & get to nothing; however, watering your eyes in the process.
My present immediate 1st floor neighbors happen to be a young surd couple & brother in law. She would never open her Iron Gate on me & would keep talking from inside. Am I a threat? The 1st time that she came to my home, she had wanted to know if I was a Home Decor Theme Designer (?) . The next time, she had “groaned” audibly when I had asked to come in (!!). I haven’t given or taken any other opportunities since then. Does she mind that I let my hair loose cause she keeps them tied in plates always? Or is it that I didn’t mind her asking me that why I was still not married, the very 1st day?
Many of them have labeled me as a Snob- High Nose & Proud- alright, so be it!!
I am definitely Proud of myself & my being. THANKYOU