It’s 7pm now; the major portion of the day has gone by. I feel somewhat better than felt in the last few days, but didn’t eat anything except for a piece of cake and some tea. I am not risking my intestines to twirl or unwind; whatever they do- once again.
I gave yet another look at myself– while combing my poker straight hair. Wash them with the harshest of the chemicals- that’s what a detergent based shampoo is; once you comb my hair, they are ready to be clicked for any conditioner advertisement that they would want to- awfully silky and very straight hair. I don’t comb so often or they’ll fall straight as if re- bonded. I noticed they are little wavy at the forehead today, and I liked it- to say the least. It’s Friday evening and I wonder- how cheerful I was the last Friday as well. I was off for a Saturday and Sunday, so was my Domestic; absolutely no intrusion is what I had pre- empted!!
I have adjusted the Computer workstation a bit. The a/c tends to work like coolers in summers here, and hence, the slight re- arrangement. I have some cottage cheese in the fridge; but to prepare a dish, I would have to roast myself in the heat.. The kitchen side gets maximum sunlight. My potted plants are crying- rains. Met says that Monsoons would hit Delhi on 29th June.. Ever since I can recall, it has always been this date- only it never actually hit before late July.
I am tired of the hyperlink spillover in my Widget Box from top till the middle of the page; exactly till where the multiple links are featured. Perhaps, they create confusion and break the linking and then the theme behaves normally.. Going to edit the entire linking myself since I haven’t heard from the support guys yet..!! (That’s for anyone to look up at the problem)
I am a great sucker of arranging things in proper order. Everything needs to fall in their places, and soon. That way, I am never at rest and always wanting some after a job is over; by these standards, my job’s never over. I am contented for now as I have started looking forward to weekends; again. Though nothing special happens except for Ben10 @ 10 on Sunday; I am not watching the movies, the living room and the kitchen smolder like coal furnace. That ways no Idiot Box for the next more than 48 hours. It’s a huge room and with no a/c. The rest of the 3 rooms do have one in each; my bedroom is divine, since its wedged in between the 2 adjoining rooms, it gets cooled down fastest when the a/c is switched on.
While nursing my dark circles, a fleeting thought crossed my mind. What if the summer days were short and winter days longer? Well, that way all 12 months would have been spring. There won’t have been so much of drought. The winters would have been blessed with longer duration of the sun- rays; though nothing of the winter chills has remained anymore. I have hardly taken out my warmers for a few winters at a stretch now.
After “light years”, I believe it’s the mind that travels the farthest or even faster than “light year”, perhaps? Only it can’t be measured- yet. Quantum Physics would have to redefine a few theories and its applications. Well, for now, it’s my mind what is running faster than that train and is creating whirls louder than that a/c hum.
While a few of you would have already declared a weekend over at a party by the poolside or with your girlfriend at that fine dining joint; I am quietly initiating myself in a process of balancing myself mentally. Not that I am mentally unbalanced otherwise; what I mean is, while writing about my experiences, I tend to become very thoughtful and overly emotional. I need to overcome all of that to ensure that my depiction of facts remain as un- charred as it has been so far. Over the last month and a half, I have cried a lot, had gone into retrospection without any reason- directly or otherwise and have been so thoughtful that I could give a 90 year old run for her grey hair.
For me, the solitude is bliss; I had made peace with my “single and only” status a long back. I mean as far as I can recall, I have always been a sort of loner- if may not be strictly by the meaning; because in company, I am the most aggressive one. What cohesion of split personality at such a given small time gap I am. Simple- since I am on my own, I have made peace with it; but whenever I get the opportunity, I tend to enjoy being “gregarious” (don’t run for the dictionary or click for it- whatever; it means social-able) as well. Isn’t this natural? I do not keep cribbing for things I don’t have. So, now that I am alone and that too really by the book, I don’t feel awkward since I had already made absolute peace with the fact, even before I realized that I had, and inturn, have also been enjoying the state in my own way. It’s been over two decades now; its more of a habit that it has become. Not to forget that this place is very quiet in itself except for a few hoarse ones 😦
That and this; solitude and writing- my soul mates it seems..
Watched Balika Vadhu– a habit that was formed when I was confined solitary in a Guest House room all by myself for 4 months at a stretch. My only outing was to visit Ruby one day at Rohini when she had come to attend her sister’s wedding in Orissa; from UK. I didn’t- there were lot of reasons besides my disturbed state of being and mind, then (read: yet another post)
While I go and slog myself with some cottage cheese curry cooking for dinner; I