My mom had said that I could try and leave my home; if I so desired. However, my marriage was inevitable.. I was maybe 15 and certainly not wanting to marry; certainly not. NO.
They would often discuss about getting me married in my Uncle’s village and get rid of me. Uncle would look for some match in his hometown. The place he comes from is Midinapur- 24 parganas. Back then, he was the only one from his whole community to get educated and get employed. For records- he worked with American Center. BTW, did he really get educated; he was only literate.
After having spent the whole of that night listening to mom’s lectures, I was more than ready to “obey” her. Something had set within my mind. It had just taken over me.. I don’t regret having done whatever I did. If only I had done that earlier than that and in a well planned conspiring manner..
I had left the bed at 6am and headed straight towards my book- cupboard. Had picked up all the cards, lose papers and anything and everything that would have given any clue.. About my mind and me.
Had left my home and gone straight to that guy. Let’s call him by a different name. I don’t think he deserves to be named here. He had only been a blotch. Yup- Blotch seems good. I had told Blotch that I did not want to go home and that he ought to look for a place for me to stay. After a whole bunch of arguments with him; I had gone to Rohini @ Ruby’s place. No, he wasn’t my boyfriend.
I had then stayed at Ruby’s place for the next 3 days. Mom and uncle had no clue about my whereabouts. I had wiped clean all the scribbles of even my friend’s name. Baffled, they had lodged a Police Complaint. I came aware of that later on. Everyone from my society till the bus stand that I changed the buses at, were questioned.. I was no where to be found.
After 3 days, Ruby had coaxed me to go and had accompanied me till my home. I had choked my voice screaming in protest. I could barely speak when had reached home. Ruby had done all the talking. Mom had as if wobbled upon seeing me from the door viewer. I had still remained detached..
I am stone- hearted. Or maybe too right conscious. I loved my mom and I did. But I had never approved of her proximity with Samanta. I once again owe Ruby. It was she who had talked me out of I am leaving my home- BLAH.. She had handled everything from talking to my mom to giving statements to the Police Inspector. She had used her contacts through her friends to even dismiss the FIR. She had boldly pointed out that when I was back- there ought to be no complaint pending.
I had sat as if stoned. With voice completely giving up on me; my tears were barely stoppable. Poor cops, they had declared that I was too innocent to commit any mistake; probably I was tortured by the elders. TRUE.
Anu had come weeping from her house from the other building in our society. Pooja was neutral- the one who always harped upon “best friends” tag, was completely missing from the scene. Not that I had wanted her anywhere around. Manu Masi had already declared that I would have been brutally violated by then. So she had been preparing mom to get used to the..umm..chan..ged..situation…
Only a week had gone by when my uncle had again started with his lunatic suggestions. I had eloped again. I had stayed with some friends who were that Blotch’s friends. That was one evening I had completely freaked out. I had walked on the road from ITO till Minto Road abusing real high.. I was not drunk; neither was I expecting any ‘good’ time. My being naive had probably guarded me yet again.
I had wore my first shorts. I had spent the night fooling around while those guys were highly amused at my witty comments. Did anyone have something else on their minds? I would never know. They had been completely civil. Would you believe that? No, don’t answer.. I have lived with this beautiful memory for all this long- wish to keep it that way.
I had dropped Sanju a couple of months back. He had grown too insecure thinking how well I communicated with everyone. I maybe involved in affairs around. Bullcrap.. That loser had again comeback and had begged to get into the relationship or friendship, soon after I had passed my 12th. I don’t look back. And didn’t then too.
The next day when I had gone home; I was running a temperature. I could barely sit up. I had headed straight to my bedroom and had gone dead.
Out of all the muck; came a beautiful outcome.. Mom had completed stood against all- in Defense. She had not let Samanta even breathe around me much less speak..
Ever since, she had become my shadow. She had not made any of her strong comments anymore. She had noticed that she was barely coming aware of my cycles anymore. I had been acting completely ‘normal’ though all days of the month. She had even acknowledged that I was different.
Never ever had she asked me about that one night. All she had said was that I could share the details, any day I felt comfortable to talk. She had completely placed her trust in me and I had not failed her. Her outlook towards me had changed.
She had become more of a friend to me than being that incorrigible, overbearing and nagging parent.