"Relationship" re- Defined

Being involved sexually with someone doesn’t make that a relationship.

There has to be atleast some amount of emotional attachment too. Actually a great amount. Some say it to be Love (or whatever) A great sense of inter- dependence, unfailing understanding and a huge realization of one’s OWN responsibility.

The jargons are being harped upon only since the last 5 years or so..

Growing up; I have made my own observations. I defined the “terms” as I witnessed them. I didn’t accept what was being “told” as being “acceptable”. Though the latter term is often never talked about. It’s damn well understood. What’s preached by elders and the society is the only “acceptable” norm. Bullsh*t.

Glad, the world is changing now.. atleast while talking. Also, in the glossy magazines. Maybe with time, it will get well versed with the logic too.

Marriage/Commitment are synonymous

So are affairs and open relationships. Ask anyone who is into “living together” or “live-in”; he/she would tell you how much of themselves they lose into that relationship to keep it going. So, how’s marriage different then?

What I am saying is; we need to understand the logics first instead of clutching to the tags (marriage/affair/living in/relationship). We so love to sashay the tag and toss the “understanding” of the essence way back while walking towards the arrangement..!!

All relationships are arrangements

A Relationship of convenience. Once again- it’s great.. As long as one understands his/her partner and respects the guidelines or the essence; it’s an achievement.

Just how many times it works, since it’s tagged as Marriage? If whirling around the Fire guaranteed any sustenance or even anything else; Sita won’t have been sent to exile– again and forever.

Expecting too much/Being Demanding/Taking for granted; more or less overlap each other in their meanings

Taking the other one for granted has been since ages. Always. Till the time the other one gracefully accepts that as his/her responsibility, it goes good. No sooner does the other one say- “why me?”; the relationship sags. The issue of taking the other one for granted comes along, then. Your involvement in the arrangement decides the choice of words to define the type of relationship.

As long as it’s suited to both of them; it works well. The problem arises; when the other one feels left out. Because he/she

  • May not have defined his/her priorities.
  • Didn’t care to maintain his/her own Identity.
  • Has been a little too dependent on the other one.
  • Had handed his/her reins to the other one.

Like a poet once said that a bird would always love to fly in open. No matter whether she does not get her food and water. She prefers to be left in bewilderment rather than sitting inside even one Gold Cage.

Likewise, we, the women don’t wish to be clipped or stringed or even strapped or leashed. We wish to live and breathe and survive; the way we wish to. We know what it is. We know what it takes. Just don’t cage us- anymore.

We are exhibiting our polygamous nature

It is so natural that we are now coming out with more separations than the number of years or even days spent in one relationship.

It’s no longer an inter- dependent relationship. Women have stepped out to work. They have gained financial security. They don’t wish to bow anymore. Why should they- now that they have become self- dependent? We don’t look upto anyone for any support- anymore.

Why we used to..? Reasons:

Society is the Biggest cage

Even though that we live in a Society and that it supposedly consists of us; the truth is far from it. We are all en-caged- within obsolete rulings. By the over- ruled guidelines. We are confined within the biases. Religions, castes, creed.. draw walls to segregate people within cells. We live contrary to our thoughts, ourselves and our contentments. Since, it’s we who make a Society.. and also define the rules.

Let’s not force “our” opinions on “others”. Where does Morality say to exert upon others’ mental sanity?

Aren’t the states and countries enough to create distances and confines?

Result: The relationships suffer..

The more the number of dispositions; the more conditional it becomes.

Isn’t the increasing number and trend of Gigolos, a definite clue of the changing times?

About Olivia

Corporate worker, textile designer, writer.
This entry was posted in My mind, My Observation, Our Society and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to "Relationship" re- Defined

  1. Paras says:

    read again i boiled it down to mentality and not women vs men..
    i dont want to sound funny but there is a huge number of men also who are single..

  2. Paras says:

    i m not against your thought//observation.. there is always a brighter side.. if you consider yourself liberal//self dependent//independent then trust me u are not a street walker.. problem arises when people underestimate their own self..

    Relationships are delicate.. and no one really wants to redo the hardships of explaining oneslef to one and then to yet another one and then still reaching no where..

    its more a matter of mentality than sexual discrimination.

    • Olivia says:

      You just said it.. That’s what it is
      Again as you said- it’s not you- but with the other “set” which is humongous in numbers..

      Almost all Independent, Strong and Bold Women are single.. Does that say anything??

  3. Paras says:

    this is something that was brought in to discussions long time back and also agreed to be followed by the masses. most of the women do not understand this and still look for handholding. the purpose dies when the subject shys away.. i am not referring to the bold ones like yourself but the other set..

    • Olivia says:

      That’s yet another topic Paras. Most women look for hand-holding because that’s how our Society looks upon us. We are expected to behave in certain manner. Women are conditioned that way. They like to stick- for emotional support. Without commenting that as being good or bad; this would take maybe a lifetime to rule out.
      Refer the related post- Gender Binary System and its “Off- Springs”; the evolution

      Coming back to this one; Just how many men would prefer his partner to be a street- walker. I guess none. That’s right, a liberal woman is taken as a street- walker. Irrespective of the fact that woman also is a human being and may express similar desires of sexuality if not more.

      I hope things change soon..

      1) Relationships are taken a little more seriously
      2) We begin to realize the essence..

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