This monsoon, it had rained real crazy..!! This was after maybe a decade or so. It was one of those heavily pouring mornings that a pigeon had crashed bang on to the verandah glass door and fallen down. The poor bird had tried flying again, but had crashed once again!!
It was either unable to see or was too bewildered. By the time I could rush to open the veranda glass door to get her inside, she had crashed herself twice. She had walked baby claws near the window sill where I keep my sengoniums and cozied itself near the small pots. I had managed to open the door without alarming her. I was almost about to pick her up when the newspaper that I use to tuck between the gap of the aluminium door and frame, had flown down. Even before I could hold that one sheet and stop the rest of the paper from falling, she had panicked severly and flapped across the open sky, opposite to my house in that downpour. Even though there were a few of those soaking on the top tiles of the adjoining buildings; perhaps some were sat on my building roof- top too, this one looked drenched.
Her feathers were clung to her body. Her claws could barely pull her weight around. She may have been visually impaired- a bird with one or both of her eyes scratched. Either they do it themselves while scratching themselves; or when the other amongst the group may choose to beak her for no apparent reason!! Often these are not so pretty to look at.. not because of the eyes, but even otherwise. It seems, they are at the longer side of their ages.
Needless to mention, I had closed the glass door with a heavy heart..!!
Although it’s been several months since, I have barely been able to keep my mind off that incident. Yet another day, a similar bird was perched on a different window. It had squeezed itself so tight against the glass, that it was only a little bigger than a sparrow is. I couldn’t do anything since that window glass is the fixed type. There’s no way to open it up.
Monsoons are over. It’s Fall. Almost winters.. Today being Maha- Ashthami, there wasn’t any plusible reasons why I had woken up thinking about all that I have mentioned above. As if almost guided by my thoughts, I had gone to the kitchen veranda the 1st thing after leaving my bed. Usually, I rush to wash and change. On weekends, I lounge around before it’s time for Ben 10 at 10, rushing me to change, floss and prepare a cup of coffee.
There- a pigeon was indeed sitting at the corner of the veranda floor. By the look it seemed, it had kept its head really down. The others had flown away noticing me around. Obviously, what else were they supposed to do? I had cautiously approached the bird that was sat as if punished or was declared an outcast. I touched the thing; it was breathing!
Saying all my prayers, I had picked it up. It’s left eye was completely sticking out of its socket.
The poor thing had not resisted even a bit when I had caught her. I had set her free immediately, it would not go. Instead, it had kept walking towards my feet. It would lay itself helplessly on my soles and breathe heavy.
I had then picked her up again. I had cleaned her wounds, whatever was possible without hurting her. Wrapping it in the newspaper to dry her feathers, I had warmed up some milk. Cooling the milk to make it lukewarm, I had fed her like one would do to an ignorant and oblivious baby. Some time later, I had fed her some green pulse, seed by seed, by placing each of them between her beaks. She had swallowed them all. I had then placed her at that corner, so no other birdie is able to peck her- even if wanting to.
So was it calling me when I had just woken up? Was she talking to me in my mind? Was she calling me for help, since I had wanted to help a wet one the other day? Or because I have helped a few of those earlier too? Did she know me- as a bird or even as someone who may have interacted with me when she was in some other Life- form?
Our ancient texts, like Puranas, often make mention that great- learned men and women are often made to serve their Destiny by being born as Birds. As a severity to balance their mistake, that they may have committed while in their God-like form, they are cursed to live a life of a bird. I don’t know which one was this! I am not an Enlighetened one as yet; so couldn’t really guess.
Then again, did she owe me anything..?
Whatever the reason may be, I have tried helping her with whatever was possible within my bounds. I had tried finding out about the Birds Hospital in Gurgaon. I could not! All I can pray is that she survives. That she lives. Because if she does, with all the wounds and scratches; she will emerge as a fighter. She would then become invincible- almost!!
Infact, she kept reminding me of how I had fought against all the odds. Not only was I wounded, but also outcast and thrown out of my house, my community- not once but several times. Sometimes- literally; other times from others’ social spaces, inturn, chopping off my Existence. Dear Birdie, if I could exist, so can you. No matter who you are or whatever your past deeds may have been, you are soon going to be liberated. Whether you live or otherwise, you have served your Destiny as being a voiceless muted life- form. I have only tried helping you meet your Destiny.
Throughout the day, I had been restless thinking about your survival. As I write this and about Puranas, I feel somewhat restful. Maybe, this is how it was meant to be. I’ll be sad and would remember you all My Life; yet, I’ll pray for you whichever way you continue to live. Maybe, I am being selfish by wanting you to live. Perhaps, you should leave this helpless form and hit your salvation. Maybe this is how it is intended to be!!
Even if you may have affected me sometime; I don’t remember how you may have..
- You must have helped me big time; Thankyou My Dear.
- If it was negatively, it doesn’t bother me anymore.
- Maybe we were attached as Lovers or Friends; we were yet not destined to be together.
- That I could care for you even for a small time is Divine.
- Maybe you had been really mean to me. You may not have cared for me and let go of me. So Destiny brought us together. I have served my Karmic duties by doing whatever I could for you.
- Perhaps, I had asked you to stay away from me in anger. You had still wanted to see me..!! You may have expressed desire to come to me at a later date. Keeping in mind our friendship, you may have come to me without thinking about how I may react seeing you.
- Then again, am I responsible for this? Did I ever cast a spell on you making this happen? Did I say this in order to avenge you?
I won’t find any answers unless I learn Occult sciences. This is where they say that “to forgive is Divine..”
Why am I crying now? Is she gone? Has she left her muted and wounded bodily cage? I don’t wish to go weak finding that out now. I’ll see that in the morning. If she lives, she maybe only a birdie.. Otherwise, she was someone who was fated to serve her Destiny in a very mundane and struggling manner.
Either way, she’ll always live in my heart. Bless you Birdie.. xox