Farewell to My Old Life

31st December, 1998

Shifting to Madangir was to change my Life- pattern in more than one ways.

• New work place.
• New people.
• Newer stances..
• Love..!! Yes, that too.

Hemant would often call me up on office telephone to greet and exchange formal pleasantries. I realized that I liked his voice. Oh yes.. I still fall for the voice, before stepping into any further involvement and ending up weaving yet another ironical experience 😀 We would discuss philosophies, Freud and such mindly matters. I found him to be a nice guy since he never insisted on seeing me!! Neither did he ever ask me my stats @$#@@# (a sure sign of a Loser), or what I maybe wearing!!

Isn’t this a co- incidence that I have started writing about Hemant exactly on his birthday? Today happens to be his birthday.

Do I still feel for him?

We would usually talk about our Lives, thoughts and observations. Anytime I would tell him that we should meet, I would sense some discomfort in his tone.

One day, I just thought of being a little more assertive. I had dropped – “I wish to see you”, yet again. There, he had stiffened as if smelled by a snake. He had kept dissuading me that maybe I would not approve of his looks. Alright- maybe.. And that, he would also not be comfortable to talk when sitting face to face. Say- what again? I had told him my mind that I hate to talk to faceless strangers..

Alas..!! I wish I had kept this in mind while talking to that really wonderful enemic stranger (read: another post)

Hemant had reacted very uncomfortably upon my words. He had wanted to talk to me before we decided to meet. He had called up after a few minutes. His voice sounded different. Was he calling from a different phone? Yes, from a public booth. Why was he so tensed..? He had wanted to “share” something about himself!! Very well then, I was all ears..

“I can’t see the world with the right side of my face..” Hemant said so- in verbatim.

My response- “It wouldn’t have mattered even if you were to tell me that you were an impotent!!. Now slam that Public phone and call me from your office.. Go, now”

All he said that I knew how to handle people well. Only I couldn’t handle his people.. Nevermind that.

Honestly speaking of, that fact never had bothered me- ever. Barring his statement of admission here, I had never noticed which eye of his was impaired. I had only wanted to connect with him as a guy that he was. I had liked what he talked and that’s all that had mattered to me. That said; to Me, “looks” is damn important. One should be cleverly presentable.

I had made no special efforts to dress- up to see him. I had gotten down at Dilli Haat on my way back home. I traveled by Public Transport then. I had worn my black front- slit long skirt, with red n black jacket top. Both knitted. The top was my mom’s fave (I still have that with me; I don’t wear it anymore. It doesn’t fit me!) The overall look was formal. I hate getting dressed up casually- anyways. The expression on his face seemed that he liked what he saw in me. I was definitely looking forward to enjoy my evening with him. He looked nice- tall, fair and very good looking. Wore glasses- all the more better!!

We had moved around inside the Dilli Haat compound till it was late. He smoked- ouchh!! But then, that wasn’t any of my business really. Till then- atleast. He had kept shying- not because of the gender difference, but because of his “right-side issue”. I had almost freaked out inwards. There was an instant chemistry. It was as if we knew each other since long. It didn’t seem that we had met for the 1st time, that evening. We had hit it off like a glacier on icy chilled water. Smooth and captivating. There wasn’t any awkwardness because of our belonging to opposite gender. Dilli Haat, with its handicraft stalls and bricks ground to walk upon, had added up to the magic.

I felt so natural to be moving around with him!! It was as lovely as it could be. I had liked that place a lot. It seemed that I walked down in a local village market- “Haat” was very suitably titled. The different handicrafts and arts-men around, had so much reminded me of how I enjoyed during my College- Life. We used to go to Crafts Museum to sit around and sketch. I had totally loved that part of my Textile Designing course.

“We would shop from this place- to do up our home, once we are married..” I had declared. He was both surprised and shocked. I wasn’t. That 1st few hours had told me that we were to get married- no matter what. He had dismissed my explanation taking it to be a light minded joke. I had not. I was more than certain that we were so meant to be.

He had almost dragged me out of that place when I had wanted to go over to his house!!

Relax. Dear Readers, it wasn’t for a night or a “sleep”. That wasn’t on my mind- neither was on his. I was calling for my Destiny- real hard.

Hemant stayed in Saket. He didn’t own a ride; for his parents were skeptical about the fact that what if he hit himself and losses his only eye- whatever..!! I had also told him how I was being pressed to shift to South Delhi. He had definitely warned me against listening to my boss. A warning that has proven itself to be very right. Not once, but a few times over actually.

Upon reaching home late at night, I had gone over to Anjum and Ranu’s place. Their landlady had arranged a New Year celebration Party! It was a cozy affair of young girls- their tenants and members of the family. I too was invited. Sweet of them to have done that. I had enjoyed no end. A lovely evening and a beautiful night following that- what else one could ask for? Meeting Hemant wasn’t like meeting a guy and feeling shy about that. It was like meeting someone who was more like a companion, a friend for life… ummm- soulmate?

I had made him promise that he would help me after I shift over to South Delhi with unpacking my things. Innocently, he had agreed upon. He didn’t know that that may spring up an affair between us. Neither was I to know that apparently, I may fall for him. I wasn’t worrying about my future. He was the last thing on my mind for me to be thinking of my future with. I was only wanting to enjoy the blissful friendship that had struck – accidentally.

Or was it Destined..?

• Filed under- My Life Instances. Follow the link for Continuity, Relevance or Reference