That a Change happens just about now.
After writing the Part-I and Part- II; I wasn’t still feeling concluding. There was a missing element that had kept bothering me in Silence. I wasn’t able to hear the voice clearly until late Wednesday night!
I just happen to connect why mom was after my Life with Reading, Studying and Books. She often said that A Book is an open Window. She would be after my Life, with all her Life and till she was Alive. All she would talk about is Books, reading and studying!! She would as if sing her one track song everyday every waking moment!
It had been happening for sometime now.
I have realized it only now. Why else I would have written the same things months back recalling of whatever mom had talked about to me- years back? She would often tell me that
- I have a unique way of story- telling.
- I remembered every tiny detail that would make the listener draw a picture of the plot in his mind.
- I never missed out on even the expressions of the actors while narrating a story from a movie.
- I could draw a flower with petals of congruent dimensions without tilting the sheet.
- I could sniff and tell.
- I knew how to judge people.
- I knew how to take note of the minutest facts.
She always believed that I was born to excel!
I know this maybe too big a statement to share about. At the same time, she being a mother was bound to think something on these lines for her only child. However, with her, it was different. She never boasted of me when with others. Infact, she “ridiculed” me no end- LOLsss. I never missed a sister- being a single child. She was so involved in sibling rivalry with me- really. She would compete with me and play around as if she was my friend. I am taking about my teens. We were the best of friends.
Maybe she had seen it for me.
My uncle had lied about by 12th result, saying I had flunked. Upon realizing my uncle’s audacity, mom had fallen sick. All my life till then, I had prepared to sit for Medical studies; there I was, witnessing my dream crashing right before my eyes. She would keep mourning- this world has lost something very big.. I get involved very passionately with everything I do, but this is too big a statement. Just why did she feel so strongly about me- when I was all of 17..? Actually, this is exactly how she talked about ever since I can recall of her talking to me.
She had become my best friend then.
She had supported me no end. She had then wanted me to pursue whatever I was wanting to. I chose to sit for Textile Designing. That’s when she had said that I knew how to call my Destiny upon me. She was way too surprised that how I could keep my passion up to Draw and paint when all the colors were locked up- literally no sooner when I had hit 7 years of age.
This is when she had told me that I could do whatever I wish to.
She felt I knew how to make my things work for myself. Some of you may say- it’s Destined. If you ask me, I would say- Destiny is how you make it happen. It’s not once but a few times already over that I have made things work the way I had wanted them to- in my favor!
This is how it was to happen.
Why else would I have written this– “It would mark a beginning of a new life song- One that I would sing with everyone along..” The words here, talk about the same thing that I have been wanting to convey through the last few posts. I had composed that recalling how she “lectured” me about Books being an open Window. It had taken me some courage to recall her words as she had spoken to craft it into that poem.
My Writes have indeed created a Window for me; in more than one ways.
I communicate to the rest of the world through these. While I have no attached relationship with me; I am blessed to have Readers and Blog friends from all across the world. What a paradox! I am completely alone and yet, people from all over the globe communicate with me. It gives me an immense high when fellow Bloggers appreciate me for what I may have written.. It gives me a huge pleasure to know that they want to share their thoughts with me!! Connecting with me on a more personal level- in the process. Oh yes, such “friendships” are self- less. They make me feel contended with their smallest of gestures. That they even think of me when actually we never have met or may even never ever meet; makes me feel for them too.
Life couldn’t have been any more rewarding.
Isn’t that what is required even in a full time relationship? Respect, Love, Understanding.. expecting the same amount of Love and attention in return. I guess, this is more beautiful!!
I am now preparing to celebrate.
I feel that my wanting to change My Destiny is already addressed by Life- forces. Only I had been unable to recognize the changed pattern. Now, I am all set to break it the bigger way and with everyone around. My world isn’t confined to my immediate neighborhood, relations or friends alone; it’s much wider than that. It’s inclusive of all the beautiful people I interact with everyday through reading each others’ work. It’s almost the whole of the world.
My window is created. My Destiny, is already changed.