I am a New Me

It was on the 21st November, 2010 that I had traveled to attend my friend’s wedding.

She happens to be only an ex- colleague at my last workplace. Her work- station was set up beautifully with her art- work. One of the crafted post-its said, “Harry Potter” as one of the many words on it. It was only a little bigger than a post card. She had zig- zagged the names of her favorite movies.

Hmm… so she was artistic..

Her black n silky hair barely touched her shoulder. He face carried an infectious smile at all times.

I was immersed deep under one of my many ugly phases back then. I liked talking to her and yet had never expressed my liking for her. He cell phone caller tone sang “Hakoonamatata”. She was being teased by one of her team members so she could smile some. That was the only one day I had seen her crying.. 😦

Initially, I had written this on a piece of paper. No goodies for guessing that my eyes were drowned in tears. A big one had fell in my hair left loose. It had disappeared like a speeding vehicle in the fog! My hair had felt a little wet. So maybe a few more had spilled.

It was my intuition that had made me accept her wedding invitation. She had made me promise that I attend her ceremony soon after I had created my profile in FB in April this year.

I had not felt so warm in a long time. I had almost concluded that perhaps I would never get along with any one so well as I do with Ruby. One, because of how I am and my things are; two, because my definition of “friend” is way too elevated. One need not essentially dig up a tunnel through the mountain for me to travel to the other end to meet her. The act of her expressing the fact that she is at the other end, is just about enough.

In her, I have lived the life of

• the most desired friend that I could be to anyone,
• the “evil-step-sister”, a tag honored by her kindness and
• the “most-mean-mom”, really that’s how I had been for most of the time.

She made me smile.

That’s an understatement. She has poked a needle in me that would keep making we wince with Life for all my life. I tend to collect whatever joys are available for the moment to use it to live through the veracities at a later time. This time, it has created an ever- flowing reservoir.

Waking up at 6 wasn’t as bad after all. The night she had stayed with me, I had kissed her fore- head to wish her a morning. That’s how my (yet another and the only one left untraceable) friend Renu Arora had, when I studied in 7th. We had gone out on a trip to Jim Corbett Park. The tour was organized by the school. The memories of that one is as fresh as if it is only about yesterday.

Now- do you see how I tend to take the traditions forward?

Remembrance isn’t limited to memory alone. It is what stays in you, as a part of you without your actively knowing about it!! I tend to pick up infectious habits from everyone I meet. Even the people who I had not been able to strike a friendship with; I have kept a good thing about them in my mind. What to talk of my friends by those standards!

A few things that have stayed with me from this trip are

• The pigeons wake me up at 7.45 sharp in the morning.. !#@$^%$@##@$\
• I religiously eat my breakfast now..
• Also my lunch
• and my dinner too.. 😛

Although I have covered whatever I had to write about the trip, I very strongly feel- yet again that this is not the conclusion. There’s much more to come- a lot more. It indeed has spelled the re-discovery of my own- self. I absorb sunlight and store like how plants do. This time, I have been able to capture a complete universe with me. An Universe, that is expanding its horizon with each passing moment.

• It was my wedding in 2003 that had killed me. It’s Sonia’s wedding that has re- discovered me.

Yet another pointer to prove my stand is this.

I had lost my the childhood friend- Parul to my situations, around that time. I have now managed to trace her back to my present day life, only a few days back- after this trip!

Not only I am back on my two feet and stable; I feel quite elevated now as well. It feels as if I have wings and can fly at a mere whim. I now feel I am becoming all that I had wanted to. The time I had wanted to strike me, and my feeling of that already in the process of hitting me has happened.

A lot many trips, travel and celebrations are waiting to hit me hard.

I have always wanted to break free-

• from all the tangible things possible so no one can hurt me..
• from my present day situational captivity..
• to reach out to my desired state of being to stay at the highest possible momentum that can happen to a human..

The last time I had felt this way, I had broken away from my stinking marriage and shifted my base from South Delhi to Gurgaon..

This time, the sky won’t be my limit; instead, I would make it my play- ground!

This one is for you- The Rediscovered Me. Thank you Dear Friend Sonia.. xox