Fast Forwarded

It’s been a year since I started to blog!

It was one Sunday afternoon, on 28th March, 2010, when I had just finished reading how some blogger loved to eat at the Delhi local markets in HT (Hindustan Times- newspaper). Her blog was featured and so was she. It had definitely earned my attention.

Infact; it had affected me more than that.

Thinking of how “blogging” had printed her in a newspaper; I had decided to give it a try. It was a simple post highlighting an insignificant open sky tea- stall. So; if she could, so could I.

I wanted to blog since long.

I had known of blog writing way before it was popular in my country (India). I would often tell my friends that perhaps I should start writing blogs. They would only nod. They liked what I talked about and I wanted to share it with the world. Things were very different then. I could never really write one.

When I decided to; it seemed I was left way beyond any learning.

Besides what I had written when in school, there were more things that had accumulated! I had almost yearned to write. The reality check was cruel. I knew nothing about the technicalities of blogging. I had my writes in place to post- didn’t know how to. The day I realized I could jazz it up with images; my joys knew no bounds! An unending phase of “self- study” had begun- making me cry while typing. I had no time to waste so while I would sob at my incompetency; I would type away the words. Almost all the posts made me go sniff.. sniff.. sob..!

How Spiritual Gurus felt getting overwhelmed with the power of knowledge; I came to know then.

I wanted to speak, to share; to communicate with the world. Like how awakening does; this feeling to share had melted away the geographical limitations. It didn’t matter who read me- as long as I was able to share. It was as if- I was wanting to become elemental like- pure, and sustaining by ownself and all pervading.

I am a typical combo of being an introvert and open minded.

This is why I came out as a happy-go-lucky-girl who only smiled. A wry, know-it-all, see-through-all smile. Almost indifferent! Often people confuse the definition of one with the other. It was difficult to make my friends realize that I didn’t want to talk! Being selective about the topics with fast friends; seemed like deceiving them. The safe way was to stop communicating with all. No point explaining because I am already in a mess. A plastic smile pasted on your face works best when you meet strangers. If they don’t get a clue, they won’t scrape. They let go of you if you hide it behind that illusive smile.

God Like..!

Been there, done that- know it all..

What now..?

My Life so far has been like a sinking boat, without an ore- in a stormy night. If the boat is to be sailed, I need an ore. If the boat is to be floated (instead of sink); the storm has to cease. I wanted to share all about that; atleast the ones that were technically done away with. While I am in a phase; talking about it is like doubling the pain. Someone knowing about what’s up with me makes it triple- folded. Sharing about an ongoing episode is a trauma.

Let me explain.

You feel excited when someone wishes you on your birthday. The same excitement gets somewhat dimmed with each passing day. Likewise, it hurts to talk when I’m depressed. Then again, there wasn’t anything exciting to talk about anyways. Closing myself seemed to be the safest option!

One day it reached its pinnacle.

Like a Universal Bing Bang, my self- imposed exile ended. I started to write in my blog a year back. The years I had spent struggling to survive, had created a Black Hole. My life experiences, brooding and words could no longer fit into that dark space. Two years of compressing my vision, had worked against it.

It burst. Maybe that’s how Universes are created.

Ever since then, I am whirling like some cosmic body left in space spinning through different electro- magnetic fields.

How does it feel?

I hadn’t seen this coming. All I had concentrated upon was to write. Now that I am here; I feel that it’s not time yet to stop and look back.

I choose to walk forward.


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About Olivia

Corporate worker, textile designer, writer.
This entry was posted in My Biopic Log, My mind and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

40 Responses to Fast Forwarded

  1. Chloe says:

    Congratualtions – I’m so pleased for you Olivia – keep up the great work!! 😀 xx

  2. Pingback: Dawn of a New Morning! | Olivia's Life Instances..

  3. sue j says:

    Wow! Keep it up Olivia. You sound like you have a lot to say 🙂

  4. Lucy Westenra says:

    A whole year blogging! Congratulations. I hope the forthcoming year will see your work grow in stature. I will certainly return to read more.

  5. Congratulations on your blogging anniversary!

  6. Carrie Burtt says:

    Congratulations on a year of blogging Olivia…so glad you are here in the blogosphere!

  7. claudia says:

    congrats on a year of blogging. it’s always amazing to hear the different stories why people started to blog – and i think it’s so rewarding – write on…

  8. Reflections says:

    Been a wonderful year of expression…. keep it going, it is a fabulous place to be. You are a very talented writer. So glad you are here.

    • Olivia says:

      O wow!! Now I am gloating.. aren’t you a sweet bunch of heart?
      Thank you so much for your words.. 🙂 I am glad to have friends in you. It is a beautiful world indeed!

      Hugs xx

  9. Kim Nelson says:

    Congratulations, Olivia! What a wonderful year this has been.

  10. Jingle says:

    keep it up..

    you are the wisest girl, naughty at times, but full of wit and learn new things quickly..


    • Olivia says:

      hahahahaha.. That’s me Ji.. I am devilish- I know (okay enough of self boasting)
      Thank you for stopping by putting in these words- now we are talking! Thank you for commenting on the celebration post- it had been otherwise incomplete.. 😀

      Hugs xxx

  11. Tumblewords says:

    Congratulations on your first year of blogging – I’m glad you started! And continued!

  12. Well, you have turned out to be an excellent blogger, Olivia.

    Congratulations on your one year! Hooray! Quite an accomplishment.

    I particularly enjoyed this post as you have delineated your thinking about blogging and life and so on. Very rich.

    Continue to walk forward and, as a woman – as a human being, always define and possess yourself. Never let anyone else do those things for you.

    Olivia, thanks for visiting us today at “Into the Bardo,” the new blog I’m doing in concert with my friends Rob and Ann. We very much appreciate your visit.


    • Olivia says:

      Oh wow! For once I kept thinking who has posted this huge n kind comment! Now that I know it’s you; I can gloat safely- hahahaha

      I always wanted to visit you on your other blogs- just didn’t know how to get the links.. 😦 (ignorant me 🙄 )
      Now that I have- I’m gonna be a regular!!

      With your wishes tagged in; it now seems to be some celebration.. 😀
      *** THANK YOU ***

  13. Bodhirose says:

    I’m so happy for you and that you are choosing to walk forward and not look back–well, maybe a peek now and then.

    Yay for you, Olivia! And yay for blogging–it’s changed my life too. I’m so very happy our paths have crossed.


    • Olivia says:

      You said it Gayle- I am thankful that our paths indeed crossed!

      Your visits are always so loving.. With your wishes, it makes a better celebration. You are so thoughtful My Dear.. 🙂
      Much Love xoxox

  14. Artswebshow says:

    When you think about it blogging has become a very effective therapy for many

    • Olivia says:

      Yes, it has indeed! Mannnn some telepathy.. was just thinking of you a few hours back. AT the rate I get Intuitive, I can afford to run an Occult Center!
      I think of someone- n most likely that someone comes to read it………..

      Hugs x

  15. I can relate to so much of this. Blogging for me is a therapy but at times I have to step away from it. I don’t want everthing I write to be depressing but when that is all there is well isn’t it better to share something then nothing at all? Lovely blog!

    • Olivia says:

      Thank you Kristie!

      Yes, it is so much better to share than nothing at all. We don’t wish to end up zombie! Then again, how many can really write so eloquently about their “not so good” twist?
      There are 2 types of people- 1 wears mask the other blogs.. period!

      Thank you for appreciating!! Love n Hugs xoxox

  16. thingy says:

    Olivia, I’m so glad you are here, to share your words.

  17. lolamouse says:

    Congratulations on your one year blogging anniversary! I find blogging a great outlet for my frustrations as well as my creative impulses. I love reading your words, whether they are serious, sad, happy, whimsical, or thoughtful. Keep writing!

    • Olivia says:

      Aaw..! Ain’t you a sweetheart..? YOU ARE!!
      Thank you so much for your encouraging words.. means world to me.. 🙂

      A big boat of Thanks.. xoxox

  18. Blogging can certainly be empowerment. Excellent words.

  19. Alice Audrey says:

    Good for you walking forward. Talking may be painful, but repressing it all is worse.

  20. Pingback: Scrawl « Olivia's In- Mind Whirls..

  21. Sam373 says:

    My lovely friend, a Real Woman can not be possessed. She can only be appreciated. For her to share of her essence is a gift few are worthy of. A real Woman is addicting and she drives a lesser man crazy and the worthy man is blessed to walk awhile with her in spirit; for that is where sh lives. That body is merely the door. KNOCK!! KNOCK!!!

    • Olivia says:

      Thank you for your appreciative words! I wasn’t sure if my post really talked all this!
      I too have observed this- the more powerful a woman get (spiritually, intellectually etc.) the more awe-inspiring she becomes. Very few men are able to get along with her match of dignity!!

      Wishing you a nice week..

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