Diet Riot!

While reading the different health and diet related articles online; I came to conclude a few facts. Blame it on my mind for developing thoughts around such deduced facts.

Conclusion 1

Cooking = Killing

That’s a positive approach for sure. Now go ahead and imitate a cow for the rest of your life, i.e., if you are a vegan (But not a dinosaur if you are not. Try picking the caveman instead. Reason- go to the next pointer).

Conclusion 2

The more the meat is cooked, the less grease will remain (hence getting closer to pure protein)

Don’t worry about the kill factor, you stabbed it already. Then again isn’t Cooking = Killing..?

Conclusion 3

Sprouts are very special. Sprouts are live food, comprising of essential and balanced nutrients for alive people, as life proceeds from life. Life and health go together.

  • Please note- it would do no good to people who are not alive.
  • Apparently, you really need to kill life to stay healthy.
  • Wait, aren’t plants a life- form already?
  • Miracle- New independent life form discovered (seed is the detached part of the plant)

Conclusion 4

Water = Zero Calories

I researched and there is indeed one Water Diet too! Incase you are wondering about an Air Diet; well, there is one indeed. The good news is; their names are exactly opposite to what the steps are to be on such diets. You may eat your daily dose of calories while following these diets.

Conclusion 5

There are no miracle diets. All of those are fads. The only rule to stay healthy is to eat everything in moderation. If it still doesn’t work, go out and play like you used to when young. Come back if you still don’t lose. Cut down on your alcohol as well. You didn’t booze when young- did you?

Then there are OCD Diet, Prism Diet, Scab Diet, Stop the Insanity Diet besides some sci- fi names such as – Ultimate Carb Phaser 1000, Ultimate Lean Routine, Ultra Carb, Ultra et Slim Pastilles, Ultra Lipo Lean, Usana. These are certainly not the names of drugs- Xenadrine, Xenadrine EFX, Xenaplus, Xenical(Orlistat), Youthin, Zotril (Zotrin), Zumba by Beto, Zymax.

Conclusion 6

Eating = Calories

I am not saying anything..


About Olivia

Corporate worker, textile designer, writer.
This entry was posted in Humor, My mind and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Diet Riot!

  1. deadpoet88 says:

    Ah dieting, something I need to get down to really soon. Why is it so hard to follow a diet for long? Most of the time I try to follow a diet, I land up getting more junk food cravings than when I’m not following one.

    And yes it is very true that eating/cooking = killing (may it be plants or animals)

    You’ve made me curious about this Air and Water diet, must look them up.

    All the best with dieting (if you are)!

    • Olivia says:

      Incase you seriously want some tips; lemme know then! These few things have worked time n again.. (Although, you are just fine..) I am trying to eat balanced meals- if that falls under a diet.. 😀
      With less un-killed foods thrown in!

      Thank you.. hopefully I would post some new pics- soon xoxox

  2. mairmusic says:

    Too funny! I’m going on the Olivia diet, but it may be too complicated for me to figure out so maybe I’ll just choose to stay plump (:

  3. versebender says:

    Well, I am currently alive…so this will be useful. Vb

  4. Jingle says:

    some fun facts or conclusion here.
    Bless your day.

  5. Bodhirose says:

    Hahaha! Oh so true. If you are not alive none of this wonderful research will do you any good!

    You are right though, Olivia. The closer you stay to your foods unaltered, unprocessed state, the better off you’ll be. Sprouts are great. Many years ago, I used to grow my own–it’s very easy to do. However, I don’t follow this rule completely because I don’t want to be a fanatic about my diet. I like your idea of moderate eating and going outside and playing like a child. And leave off the alcohol–there’s lots of calories in alcohol.

    Or you can learn to suck the prana out of the air and live on that alone. Yummy!

    I really enjoyed this humorous take on dieting–hilarious. Thanks for the grin!

    Gayle xoxo

    • Olivia says:

      That’s a “fat” one Gayle.. 😀

      Indeed.. we eat to please our taste buds often. We seldom think about what would flow in the blood apparently! Who cares?
      More than tonsuring; I guess, we should focus on bland food to renounce.. lolss

      Not many of us would try the Air or Water Diet.. those two alone or combined would resolve half the problem, the rest half with proper activity.. then again..!
      I am glad it made you go griin.. 😆

      Wishing you a very Good Morning.. xoxoxoxoxox

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