Life coming to a full circle

Imagine a roomful of kids (or gown- ups; as you may) asked to draw random circles on a plain sheet of paper. A myriad presentation of unending lines would appear on your table; upon submission. Some would be concentric, yet others would be as if polka dots (if filled). Some of those may conform to a certain pattern; yet others may be completely abstract. One of the sheets may have a pattern where all circles maybe touching each other at the same point. A sheet would pop up where all circles maybe running in like looped in each other. If you combine all of those results; that’s how my state of being has been for the past few months.

It started with a very sweet intuition.

The acceptance was killing and that’s an understatement. Apparently I hit the stage one of the anticipated transition where realization squeezed every bit of complacence from my cells. In the process, I realized how uncomfortable all of this had been; yet, I had kept up with it! To have come to terms with the fact that I have no option other than to stick around with it still; was as stabbing as the repercussions of the few other mishappenings in my life. An arrangement couldn’t graduate to a relationship. It had hit the dead end even before an initiation. I was put back to scratch one.

This 1st phase of transition had brought out many gone past stances back to my mind.

It was uncomfortable to feel how I had felt back during those times. I was steered back to when I was left on my own at 17; exactly 17 years back. I was then fast forwarded to my wedding time- when I had quit work, only to go back to job hunting in 15 days’ time. Each time, I was pushed back and farther from being an average alive human being.

I am passing through the stage 2 of my transition.

This is when the most of the changes take place. The primary changes which leave secondary effects too. Adapting happens now. All turbulences hit at this point. Just when you might have made yourself acquainted; the 3rd phase would arrive bringing in the tertiary changes. I am preparing myself for taking those in my stride, right from here. Like before, I will leave no room for any delusions. Needless to say; no man would now get any opportunity to carve me out of my setting.

Once again; I have started afresh with all my diligence resurrected. 

About Olivia

Corporate worker, textile designer, writer.
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8 Responses to Life coming to a full circle

  1. Jamie Dedes says:

    Good boundries and guidelines you’ve set for yourself. Need to feed yourself some sugar though, Olivia.

    I have no hope of catching up all my my blog visits, but you are among the first.

    Hang tough –

    • Olivia says:

      Aren’t you a sweet one now?
      If I stop and count my blessings, you are one of them. I have very few and you perhaps know it too!

      Hope you crawl through all blogs possible.. this becomes tricky at times.. 🙂
      Will most certainly hang in there.. xoxoxox

  2. Artswebshow says:

    By the time someone gets to the third stage they have the benefit of experience.
    That probably why as people get older the couldn’t care less attitude creeps in. lol

  3. Bodhirose says:

    I’ve enjoyed watching your evolution since we have known each other, Olivia. It seems I came into your life when many changes were beginning to happen. I too have been through some of the changes that you’ve described in your writings. But I wonder too, like Life: Between the Lines, if I have become too cynical and pessimistic. All my spiritual knowledge and practice has not seemed to be enough to counteract my negativity on certain issues. 😦

    I think I should just accept myself as I am–the good, the bad and the ugly! What do you think?

    Love and hugs,
    Gayle 🙂

    • Olivia says:

      I so appreciate your courage to speak it up in as many words. What do you think I had become when I had become a recluse.
      That said, I am never going back there at all. Writing did wonders to me. Letme say it now. I wrote all that I want- most of it and I have what I had written about. Next, I am again going to write it all and write my own destiny. I may be sounding arrogant here- but the fact remains if I wish for something die- hard, like giving myself no other option; it does come to me!

      My dreams, intuitions and thoughts guide me through all of that.
      Cynical.. well, then that makes the two of us. When at work I have all kind of people around me but I make sure I don’t carry any hard feeling about anyone at all. It’s tough but not achievable. Exercising this kind of control with everyone has helped me a great deal. The only few people I have not been able to forgive is my uncle and dad and not because of what they did to me but because what they made of my mom.
      Once again, I do have a few scores to settle.

      Feeling negative, I am not mastering the art of taking every “bloody” thing in my stride! (pardon my choice of words- but that’s the best way to say it)
      You I feel have a lot of positive energy- more than you actually know of! How else we could strike a bond like this one? More than me, you know it. You must have ended depressed and that is understandable.. but I just know how to camouflage (or so people around me feel) and in the process actually win it over!

      You are good if that’s what you intended to ask; just forgive the sinners for they know not what damage they are doing to self. No matter how murky the water becomes, it keeps flowing till it dries out!

      Sending you many hugs Dear One xoxox

  4. I reached the third stage but I don’t think I like who I’ve become, way too cynical. You are on point with this, as usual 🙂 hugs

    • Olivia says:

      So am I.. I had reached there way back when I was young.. people often called me judgemental! I am happy with what I have become.. about this phase; it’s still going on.. will keep updating what’s on!!
      hugs xoxox

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