Is that a sign again?
I’m thrown back in time- just yet again. How it’s been for a year now, I’m being forced to look at several different times when my life had transitioned to different phases at different intervals. It’s hard to ignore what’s happening around me at present since it bears an uncanny similarity to the last few stale phases I crawled out of!
Dream come true.
For three consecutive nights, I dreamt of having shifted to a different place. On the fourth night, I indeed landed at a guest house to stay. Today’s the 3rd night here. The room that I peeped into while walking out this morning is the room I have been shifted into tonight. Guess what, that’s the same room I stayed in some four months back. I had so wanted to write about one of the most beautiful days and the best date ever that it will be for all times to come. Only I wasn’t aware of the fact that I would be pushed back to the same guest house, same room yet another time where I would make a mention of that particular day. Now that I do it here, I have a strong conviction about something that had crossed my mind that evening.
It was only a few months back on 24th July, 2011 that I lived the most wonderful date of my life till now. Upon reaching home, I had not wanted to there. It was peak summer, my air-conditioning unit wasn’t working. That was when this thought had crossed my mind for the very first time.
Landing down here in this guest house 2 nights back, I had become stoned.
As much as I wish to gain stability, I have only been living a life of a wanderer; noble, if I may! I had shifted to Gurgaon in December 2007, after which I spent straight 4 months locked up in a (different) guest house. With no place to go out to and no one coming in to see me; that’s the best expression I have to explain how it was. All I had was 2 set of night changes, and a pair of jeans to live in. That’s when I had turned into a recluse. Few of my friends, or so they claimed had in length conversation with me over the phone; however, never made any attempt to meet me or even ask me to drop by their place- one of them lived only a few blocks away. The current phase had started with my stay in a guest house; I have all the reasons to believe that it would end in a similar manner too.
Yes, I was out on a date with him yet again!
Today, on the 3rd night of my 2nd time stay at this guest house, I am barely able to take control. of my brooding mind. Strangely enough, my thoughts are mixed and are not limited to feeling upset alone. The last two times the electricity problem had caressed the wires, which is why I am here; I had shifted out of those fallen out phases. For the past few months, I have spent more time out of my home, including nights. In the most harsh manner, is time once again warning me about what is to hit me and soon?
Is it time already that I leave this obnoxious arrangement? Maybe one of those dates with him would actually not letme go back to my life that needs a change already!
I’m waiting anxiously..