In two minds!

6th January, 2012- 9.30pm

The thunders are quite literally thundering. All that glass shattering noise is freaking the ghost out of me. I do feel scared; feeling the very same right now.

These are the times when my instincts work faster than the flash of lighting. Like how it takes some time before we hear it after we see it; it stones me for a few seconds before the realization starts preparing me for the patch up. Ordinarily, people break down and wail. I sit up and start analyzing the occurrence to save myself the next time. Only by the next time, I grow too matured to even call upon anything remotely similar.

An even uglier stance starts preparing to hit me.

Gothic at its best, the chills of the winter combined with rains sets the perfect backdrop for those paranormal movies. The ones where you don’t see the spirit, but only feel being watched over. How we cry in bouts, the drizzle keeps changing itself to pour and then fall, and then light fall to splitter splatter, till all the pain is gone away, till all that needs to be mourned about is done with.

I had left the upstairs door opened today, so had gone to latch that up. A falling rain-drop kissed me wet leaving me with a certain thought. Something happened a few days back and I am busy calculating the words those got processed in my mind in the most probable way. A certain peculiar vibrations were set. I am yet to decide whether to feel appalled taking offence since it sped up a few things, thoughts those would have taken months if not years to set its grasp; or to feel thankful about the same.

With each pouring drop, my mind is letting go off a lot of apprehensions that I had held unknowingly. Now that those are leaving, I feel lighter than before. Clearly, I have stepped up my initial insecurities. I still wait for his call no doubt, but that restlessness of whether-he-would is clearly gone. No matter how much it pours, nature only blossoms after a rain; my mind is also becoming greener letting many a new things shape up, earlier those were only a far-fetched idea , which seemed only a delusion.

Not anymore.

The stance was like a rain falling so hard that I was barely able to look-up. But like they say- every cloud has a silver lining; I see the rainbow come-up almost immediately. How hard it was for me to suppress my desire to give someone a piece of my mind! Half of my mind is still doubtful wondering if now he has put up a farce to please me since maybe he has been made to think in a certain way?

Then again, if it is to get affected (or ruined) so simply, then it’s not worth it- what say?

About Olivia

Corporate worker, textile designer, writer.
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