I went to shop veggies after like ages today. Something prompted me that I go to the local market adjoining my previous residential area.
It was my domestic who had nudged me. While she attended to her work, I waited; we were to then go to that flea market that sets up outside the community gate. I had charged my music phone in advance. I wore a pair of jeans and shoes so it was alright when I hopped over the wall fencing to mark my time.
I must give it to fate for I landed in the park right in front of the house that conspired me to go homeless not long ago. I know this place and yet didn’t feel this unattached before. This is the same park I plucked flowers from in spring of 2011 and uprooted several seasonal flowering plants… like in hundreds maybe choosing each flower type carefully. I sat there for quite a while living my today so I don’t cut off myself because I no longer live there.
As I write this post, I realized that this was where I stood two long hours one summer night, possibly around the same date in 2012. That was the first time I had made myself stand out and quite literally so. The walk back home had witnessed me resolve to stand up. The process of dissociating myself while loving the place since then has left me a bit numb.
The place had as though mourned the day I shifted out. It brought me over on foot in less than an hour’s time. It seemed like the roots had entangled my legs pulling me back. I had to walk back in and out soon after I shifted residence.
How it goes with me always, I have newer memories associated with this place now. They have made me love this place even more. My discreet visit about 15 days back on yet another Tuesday was like the perfect topping to finish the sundae decoration. I relived a bit of that most beautiful evening in a long time and the memories of the times when I lived there. It was a free- flowing essence of my stay there and of the evening I went circling the area looking for cues… nothing else existed anymore.
Life wants that I live…
Olivia's life instances... 