Getting Back at My Dad

Im not willing to forgo, forgive or forget what’s caused to me because of My Father’s committance to an awful series of Blunder..

I wish to

  1. Make him realize that what he has done is a far cry from being Human much less being civilized & or cultured..
  2. Bring the matter out in Public & Society to set it up as an example & eye- opener..
  3. Not use his name anywhere on any Public/Govt Document since he was the one who practically disowned me..

The bitter memories & experiences because of him & his absence are very much an active part of my Life- even now- My friends know it.. Anyone sensible would understand.

After much hard work both to stand myself firm & to trace him, I have now been able to find RIGHT TIME to charge back at him for my own good..
I do want to set it up as an example & expose him, both with of equal exponential strength so it sets up a milestone for me & everyone around- related or otherwise..
I have been made the beast of burden of his callousness towards his fatherly duties- for his comfort & gain; so far, he has been able to get away with it- NOT ANYMORE..
I have held my tears & anguish back for all these years, I do want to shed & lose them now..

I am aware that it won’t be any bit easy to file a case (in the light of our present day Judiciary System), & pursue it- thanks to our Society & their Criticism for Fighting-against-Men Women. Each step would take me back to the Humiliation & Hurt that still is the very rule of my Being. The Memories or the Past Events would stare at me & the Defendant’s Lawyer would strip me down at the slightest available opportunity- both literally & otherwise. I have already been taking the sh*t for over last 17 years.. I know that just 17 lines in the Notice would not shake his being.. but would make sure that in the process, I smear him in his own dirt..

I wonder if my Parents’ Marriage was at all registered for this day to happen; people didn’t register their marriages so religiously back then.

I was too young to have understood & react in the meanest manner possible; why in the name of Humanity was I slaughtered & robbed of my VERY BEING? I was killed in my sleep only to wake up & realize that the whole world is Dark & would always remain so for me.

  • My dad gave me no opportunity to understand what he was to before doing so; nor did he make me understand later. Likewise, I don’t wish to give him any inkling to what I may be up to; nor would I show him any mercy later. I wish to do exactly how he did it. He had hit me where I didn’t know then & that the wound was never to heal. With each passing moment it hurt me even more. In solitude they would haunt me & in Society, they made me a line to be picked up by anyone & everyone.
  • For once let me prove that I am his daughter with the typicality of same “hostile instinct”.
  • My only sorrow- my mom isn’t alive to witness the comedy of the tragedy that he had sown the seeds of years back.
  • If he has ignored & denied the fact of being a father to me; I would now want to ask him about his negligence towards discharging his Father- ly Duties.
  • He has completely chosen & has been exercising to deny my existence; why am I being forced to write his name when my mother also happens to be my biological Parent?
  • I wish to wound the hands of the clock; make him live the Agony & Grief that he has caused to me.
  • My dad gave it to me; I wish to return him his Due.

I wish to press charges under the various sections of Law for his Cruelty & Neglect towards me, Embarrassment that he has caused,  having failed to discharge his fatherly duties; making me lead a life of an Orphan, worse an illegal child.

Do you understand that he has crippled my Thought Process towards Men for all times to come?

Why should not I now pay him in his very manner being HIS denied blood?

Please help me with your suggestions in the comments section below..

  • I have gone through a lot in the past, which I am still going through..
  • I have taken great pains to trace him up, can’t afford to let go of him now..

…………………………………………………………………………………………

Next- Giving Back at the Atrocities- An Initiation

7 Responses to Getting Back at My Dad

  1. The Dark Quill says:

    Excellent piece, you provide an honest and intruiging tour of your mind, I very much enjoyed purusing your thoughts.

  2. frayedges says:

    First, Happy birthday!
    Life is not fair, and things don’t always work out right. I totally understand. There is no forgiving my dad. You get a little peek at how he affected me in my one post “The man in the Box.” The man is my father.
    That said, life is easier when you come to terms with the fact that things are what they are, and then try to make the most of it. Not an easy feat, and I am definitely working on that…again! Keep writing! It will make you feel better.

  3. Olivia says:

    Ruby, you have been anything but a silent spectator.. after moms demise i.e., exactly after 2 years of our friendship- you literally picked me up from where I was left by everyone- Life, situation & relatives. I havent really been able to gather my strength & put them across here. I am not the only one who may have suffered but the memory still haunts me. A few things that only you know of would soon come here in the following blogs; only a matter of time now.
    I have never tried Thanking you, actually cant & so wont.
    When it comes to relationships, I cant let go off anything whether Dad & the audience relatives, or YOU who have stood beside me in everything..
    Our Friendship or Relationship today wont have graduated to this level if not because of you. Each time I became bitter mouthed, you rationalized things for me. You did what mom would have wanted me to. Remember, how you suggested I change my name- not because it was dad’s preference but because you felt that was shadowing my being? Alas! you were more than right..
    Back then in such conservative time & space, WE fought everyone like it was “your” business..
    I on purpose let these comments float by, so readers also get to see the mental & social level of the people around us. Its a blogosphere, everyone has right to say; but it isn’t always have to be necessarily Right what they speak of..
    I have anyways wondered this Karmic Explanation Souls; why they have always failed to balance their own?

  4. Sampada says:

    Hi

    With the reference to the comment posted by Mr.Mukunda
    ,Firstly let me introduce myself by saying that I have seen and been there when all this happened to her ,as a silent spectator from past 18 years. What you say about “set yourself free” was exactly the same phrase i told her 18 years back, and burry the past, but its better said than done.I always use to tell her that god will punish him for what he has done…but actually it Never happens like that in reality.Life moves on and her father also moved on ..its very easy for each one of us to avoid facing are own demons and we keep on living as if nothing happened.And the one who gets affected continue to suffer.In my opinion we all need to get reminded of our own sins and thats what she is trying to do… The enormity of the impact this incident left on her life is difficult to express in writing.Life is full of complexity,sometimes we think or i will say we try to go by the book of good and bad but its very difficult in practical life.Her life is an example which changed my entire way of thinking.

  5. If you have any love for yourself, then set yourself free.
    Your father is gone. Might have been worse if he stayed.
    No need to go down the Sylvia Plath route in terms of your relationship with your father.
    Maybe you were cruel in a previous life. That is why you lost him young. It is one karmic explanation.
    Just trying to see things from a different angle.
    Mukunda

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