Tag Archives: My Thoughts

Actuality

I was sipping Bailey’s watching a show with him when a thought struck me. I guess that’s what’s happening to me right now. I am an empath. I feel everything around me & sometimes even at a distance. The word … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Definition

Letters can not know the depth of pain… they do not feel. Pain is experienced; & the one who does, becomes a different person. Letters do nothing for the aggrieved. They only appear imprinted on pages. Once the page turns, … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Basic Instinct

Rarely do instincts change… be it sipping a drink to dull the moise of chaos to come aware of the surrounding sounds of train honking and a distant dog barkin between intermittent stillness. Or, identifying the approach of yet another … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in Festivals, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My best friend

As you grow up, you realise certain words so commonly used in preteens have a rare place in grown up world. As I write ‘grown up world’ I get a feeling of all things morbid and so mature that it … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pause

I want peace. Like absolute stillness on the snowy mountains. Crystal clear like spring water. Utter silence with no shrivels on the surface… or beneath. No sound or voice or breath. Not a whiff either. No hint, no whisper or … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Resumed… recovered; life!

She showed up after all… the me me. Along with, she brought some of the best recollection of life long lost… so it seemed not long ago. In the hiding, I was still me. It was time I get her … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Turning away to look beyond

I am sitting from where I still see someone dropping me home one late evening. The moment and several more preceding that became perfect reminders to who I am. Yearlong period of yearning and wishing had met fulfillment in that one … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

As it should

These were snapped-shot in January of this year; resting in my laptop since. Given the time-period I had withheld expressing my feelings for him, six months seem puny. It was during winter of this year. It was freezing, foggy and one … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Setting new footprints

I went to shop veggies after like ages today. Something prompted me that I go to the local market adjoining my previous residential area. It was my domestic who had nudged me. While she attended to her work, I waited; we … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My Observation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lending from Universe

Pain has immense power to bend us… I’m told. When we are fighting the cause, we emote. We cry in despair reaching out to the dear ones expressing grief. We are handheld until one day, when either, we learn to … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ticking off the wish list

I wished three things in the beginning of this year. They were and in the order: Turning my present continuous into past participle Seeing my father Practicing Yoga more often I tick marked the first one off the list in … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Denouement

That tender cord holding me in shape almost snapped today or so I thought. After the initial shock of realization subsided, I figured it had come off quite a while back. I know this pattern. It hits me when I see … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Rewriting the concluding page

I finished drafting the last chapter of that book I was reading yesterday. Certain amount of emptiness filled my state of being since I started to plot. This one had to be concluded here regardless of the mood it’ll end … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Sole existence

A strange feeling is seizing my mind, a mixed reaction for the days to come. I’ll be alone, left completely on my own. It’s been a while since I tasted solitude. At the farthest scratch it lasted only few hours … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind, My Observation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The shift

Sharing the other half of my mind is pending. It’s growing by the day threatening to take over becoming the dominant part of how I feel. The limbo has shifted. They say dark rum with cola takes you to heaven; … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Travelling distances and in time

I am so tired… wrong! I’m still up typing this post sipping a fat blue cup of tea in my bedroom. I’m enjoying the famous Delhi chills in January of this New Year. Cyber space is my world, one another … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind, My Observation | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Transitioning… from being human alone

Things are changing. I am not writing about it- for now for I’m busy playing my part, enacting my role. I see the person in me changing. Vodka still gives me a high… only I don’t need that ecstasy anymore. … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Walking till the post

Today was my last day at work… last day of my first work- year at Genpact. Hitting the dial keys to log on to the bridge to barge a phone- extension remotely took me back by a decade. I was … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Celebrating mom’s demise…

Time spent with mum suddenly seems distant. Memories associated are growing hazy like some old discarded mirror left unclean reflecting the light with the dust eating at the contours of the reflection. I haven’t quite survived the loss though I pretended … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in Festivals, My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A love story- long lost

With each passing day I feel calming within like death filling in with its nothingness. After a long while, I prepared coffee for myself after an evening head wash. I feel at peace within. Just before stepping into that warm … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My Grievances | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Framed

The beaded string wall hangings were out a month back, Ganshu darling was made to sit back at his place a fortnight later. Today, I took mom’s picture photo frames out too. The frames occupied the wall- space as though … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“Re”

It is only natural to send emails across at work; yet, I owe you for this one again. The other day you had wanted me to send that insignificant team outing presentation across to HR Manager and Process Manager, but … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ground in thoughts

Am I finally embracing my much-ignored-by-me roots or is it that finally I am learning to go back to the shell I belong? Then again, do I belong to any? The realization set my mind back in the time now … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My Kitchen Preparations, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Close down

Yet another movie I finished watching a moment back. Tears know how to flow alone, so I washed them off my face. Still, a tear or two rolled down my cheek. I was losing myself to depression starting from living … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Paired Up

Paired up with a very good looking non- smoker leo in name of my trainer for the next two weeks is what I have earned, not to forget the learning more about the business part- but we’ll discuss that later. … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in Humor, My Biopic Log | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Suspended- II

Here I am, back to writing some more. I am doused into terrible depression, having gone totally reclusive, not eating or even peeking out. All I want to do is sit still or probably sleep and in an un-ending continuation. … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Suspended

It was barely nine in the morning and I was crying hard. Pressing the white smock up my eyes, I cried as though mourning. I screamed as if I were a retard. The losses are too many to be pointed. Where … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Weathering up

When kids, we are happy, playful and ever- rejoicing. Our only worry: how to add to merry making! Then one day, we grow up. We all do. Our playful self gets locked up in the closet with our toys if … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

An unexpected visitor or a divine blessing, was that?

If you wish to know of love for animals, pick up a copy of Ramayana right away. It takes awarding each-one-his-rightful-place to a whole new level. Perhaps, the first of the humanoids were born in Hindu scriptures; though not quite … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in Humor, My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Celebrating an anniversary

20th January, 2003 One Monday that was (a decade back), that changed my life. I wish I could add- for good. There were people and celebrations alright; but something still had made me cry. I didn’t have a family, so … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Misplaced Relationships (edit)

I have been wedded for a decade now. If only the said wedlock had held true even for a week. I haven’t been vocal about it. To gain what in turn? Some rude judgements? Negating opinions? More questions? My father … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Misplaced relationships

Today’s my wedding anniversary and I am definitely excited. Just how many long years I’ve waited for this day. I saw this date some six years back, well almost… but the day never arrived. Not then. I have been married … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Prayers; I need those not

The day you are ready to do what I want or do if you already are, the day you understand what I need, the day you feel you wish to know what I do (need), the day you do all … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Say it with a flower

I won’t give flowers, I’ll myself to you. Will you care to hold me forever? It was only after a week that I noticed another bud hidden beneath the mauve bloom. How had I not before? I had held the … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in Festivals, My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Numbed feelings emote

I am sm audacious enough to laugh even in the face of death. That’s how I am known amongst the most. Then there are those who realize this with the passage of time and others who often scratch a wounded … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

In attempt to charm the eternal charmer!

Only, I am not amused. The lyrics that I am filling in with really rude remarks of my own out of devout frustration are the ones those I had once sung when in school. Half a dozen songs were given … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in Festivals, Humor, My Biopic Log | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Everything’s due to a change now…

My analysis is yet to reach a conclusion! A fleeting thought; yet, expressed and with a load of conviction, conveyed (in time) to the one it concerns. A few highly insignificant things took to occurrence for me to reach the … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Re-reading through time

This is one of those miracles of my own world. Often I am blessed to achieve what I yearn for… maybe in a little twisted way that amounts to a surprise story, a memory to keep always. This isn’t the … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Feelinglessness

I am numb again. For crying out loud, it’s a chewing gum and I am not chewing. Instead of feeling depressed like I did earlier every time it progressed any further; today, I feel light headed- as though unburdened… relieved … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Back to sketching life!

31st may, 2012…5pm Sitting on the table… er rather a chair, placing my diary on the “table” (now), I’m scribbling fast lest I forget the words I wish to pen down to be typed down in a little while from … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Ice- Block

You may regard it as yet another silly thought passing through my mundane mind. I tried not to think of it at all, after originally wanting to post it here. I am doing that after all! Evening 6.30pm, I was … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Karma… my savior for today!

This instance dates back to when I was in 7th standard. The boys’ gang and I were bunking the Library period. We loved to irritate the teacher. Through the whole half hour of that Friday after the recess period, she … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

What about NOW…?

It was in winters last year, December of 2011; when I had popped up the question one more time. I choose to leave it on to the readers’ imagination to take a guess about it. There weren’t any words given … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dumbstruck!

6th May, 2012- 6.30pm I am walking the way down to my house. Serenity is playing around as much as loneliness on my state of being. For most of you, “feeling lonely” is a phrase, for me it’s a call that … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind, Our Society | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Being thrown at; around

I have failed to understand, how can people cut off on me? Am I such a retard that I don’t understand that they possibly don’t want me anywhere around them or is it that I have a great knack of … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Death of a relationship

Firstly, I can’t take rejections, secondly, it stabs my heart to let go of people and then, if I am left to stay dumb… that’s a perfect recipe to whip me into a cryptic psychopath! If I say that this … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

It ends here

It’s been a year that I’ve been contemplating committing it. Just who knows I might have taken some step towards achieving the desired outcome already? I am not a coward, that’s all they say; I won’t. But before I fall myself … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Love lost…

… and a piece of my heart too! Don’t ask if we ever loved one another… how does it matter now? It’s the result that matters, efforts don’t count. they only reflect in your concluded concoction. It’s 3.30 past midnight … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind, Our Society | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Living my life again

It’s been over 2 years floating through a transitional phase! After 33 years, it’s started bringing back to me all that was and lost too. From being a happy go lucky child to over – cautioned teen to a most … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Sketching my life

“Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end. If not always in the way we expect.” I would add: rather a li’l too wildly at that. One of the Luna Lovegood’s quotes from the … Continue reading

Rate this:

Posted in My Biopic Log, My mind | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments