In public
Collins Dictionary explains this as – (the one saying so) disapprove (-ing) one’s discussing or arguing about their unpleasant or private things in front of other people.
There you go – this is the ultimate suppressing code to someone’s pain, suffering & perhaps a lot of wrong that happened causing them to store trauma in their bodies.
I have been accused for washing (my) dirty laundry on my blog. Should I have been embarrassed & stayed suppressed, instead? And internalize and blame myself? I did that for the longest time. Already. It didn’t work. I fell sick, got depressed, and was called out by friends as being lazy. I had reached a vegetative stage. I was scared, ashamed of things that had happened to me and questioned my reality everyday.
Is that healthy?
We stay in abusive environment & are unable to walk out due to unawareness, our social & moral conditioning and our immediate surroundings. Society in general is hostile towards norm breakers. There’s a structure, and one ought to fall in line. The society is afraid of anyone who chooses to be different (read: authentic).
That’s BS in bold red.
No opportunity is presented to the victim to become a survivor. And if after battling all the social stigma, the person finally takes a step towards self-evolution by removing oneself from the abuse and share about it spreading awareness, they get called out! They are shamed, and labelled as a “rebel”.
The ones calling us out are the modern-day conformists – reinstating patriarchy, inducing human degeneration, building up generational trauma, in my opinion. Mind you, these are the educated, very well placed financially and professionally lot. Perhaps, also in the power to influence due to their stature. They are the definition of “successful” being the leaders in their social setting acting like pillars carrying the responsibility to keep benignity in check.
Being subjected to atrocity is less mangling than the doubt created by these suppressors. It is betraying your own kind. The hurt experienced by the survivor is that of being abandoned.
Why is it shameful to talk about your pain and perfectly fashionable to pretend… no matter how stabbing it may be? You know, I didn’t do it to myself. It ought to be unsettling for the one who caused me that pain. Please don’t expect me to first take it all by putting up with the abuse, stay put and then take humiliation for talking about it! What’s wrong with your perception, dear so called civilized, cultured, successful in life/relationships people?
This isn’t about – let me be for who I am. It is about suppression being imposed in such compound layers that the structure of our environment is contorted to the deepest level. Everyone is traumatized in some or the other way… and, most likely, they may be the one causing it too.
Are we all narcissists wearing masks of cultured, civilized, moral authoritarian? Forcing everyone around to pick up a face with a joker’s smile?
For generations, we have been conditioned to take it all, endure and stay quiet! I ask why? What is the bigger picture here? What are we aiming to achieve breeding & propagating abuse, violence & trauma? It is due to the structure of the society that is so broken that the offender rules. Don’t you see, how we function as an individual and as a collective is creating a culture to promote toxicity?
Don’t you wonder how autoimmune diseases are now endemic like some fancy ass lifestyle effect? Meant to happen almost as a bi-product for being a part of this society? Cancer, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson, the list is growing dense by the day.
Why is it the culture for the victim to stay mute? Instead of talking about it making people realize and reform? The first step to induce change is “awareness”. But what the heck, who wants this change to be, anyway… right? It is like the scientists keeping their discoveries confined to their labs.
At this rate, our brains will be the next thing to be marked as vestigial. Next will be the spine… until we are on our fours because we failed to support our weight and perception of reality. Nuclear war & AI are not the biggest threat to annihilation – it is we. This constricted, boxed thought process that is passed on to the next generation and to the next, enveloped in a fabric of morality ensuring constant reinforcement, is the greatest virus and we don’t classify it as social evil yet.
If there comes a day wherein human race must re-evolve after mass extinction, they will be all crippled, mutilated carcasses incapacitated to be labelled as a human. The amount of wrong we get subjected to, to the pain we endure due to unwieldy subjugation and the trauma that we are storing in our bodies due to the denial & constriction of our own & others to stay accepted by the society at large – is feeding on our life force.
Why doesn’t the survivor get to express about what is acceptable and what should be avoided? Why such guides exist on the table of vulgarity shrinking the survivor?
Phrases like “the woman must adjust in her marital setup”, “one has to compromise in order to maintain peace”, “it’s alright, it happens”, and “big deal, you aren’t the only one” very often comes from the people you know from up close. But then, do you really know them, well? Because, if I did, I know, I would have become me a long back –
What is ironical is the fact that the one who takes it, breeds it too! That is because you only advocate what you’ve known. You become a victim, choosing to stay submerged giving yourself a damaged reasoning and then, become that pillar. Maybe the family patronized, the people around you were the proponent, but what about your own understanding? Why live with feeling uneasy in name of staying in a relationship, stay married, giving kids a balanced parenthood, be accepted by the society… the f*ck goes on. And on goes the ridiculousity of staying suppressed, becoming a harbinger.
Self-awareness, consciousness, wisdom… absolutely nothing taps their discernment. They are zombies, their arms stretched by the invisible pull of moral dignity infecting the survivors which alas were so far healthy. Precisely why they recognized the right from wrong.
You wouldn’t have to step into my shoes to see my world, you need some compassion and a degree of understanding of the concept of humanity. It isn’t about me. It is about mankind.
Let me ask: in your actions and mind, are you truly a human or kind?
Olivia's life instances... 