This show is over..

Eight years back I was married on this day.

While Hemant had gifted me Ray of Light by Madonna in courting days; he had quite rudely taken that cassette back while pushing me out of my marital home– to hurt me. But that’s how he is.

He had taken my marital status away knowing well how emotionally I was attached to it!

Eventually I walked out of my wedlock in December- 2007. It wasn’t simple- for me, it was about leaving my only home and one and only relationship that I had acquired after losing my parents- one by one and my relatives too. Actually my relatives were more like vultures; sitting and staring, waiting to pounce on my vulnerable state of being. It had left them all sour mouthed when I had shooed them away even before they knew that i had arrived where they had wanted to see me.

Hemant had taken away my gifts to hurt me, to award me with a sense of loss.

That is what he had conveyed to me in as many words when I had asked about the missing plastic box. He had known well that I have been listening to Madonna since childhood. That is precisely why he had gifted me that cassette. I listened to Madonna and MJ when they were mocked upon because of their different than others lifestyles. This was in 1980s in India. They still remain to be my favorite singers, other than Celine Dion.

While listening to one of the songs (Frozen), I was pushed to post that particular one.

I had cried inconsolably while doing so. It had taken nights of sleepless tossing when I had finally decided to write all about my wedlock mishap. That one particular song had as if provided me all the courage that I had needed to type my story out there. I had already decided that I would but just needed a push to do so.

I had gifted him this collection- Have I told you lately by Sony that was released in 2002. It had this one particular song by Madonna- Take a bow.

So while Hemant had tied me to him (emotionally) by presenting Ray of Light and then trying to hurt me by taking it back, I too have a song by Madonna to conclude the episode. In fact, it was long over- just needed to draw the curtain.

Oh yes, I have retained the CD with me. He had never accepted that gift and it laid in my stuff for years before I took it out a month back.

“Take a bow” says it all..

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About Olivia

Corporate worker, textile designer, writer.
This entry was posted in Festivals, My Biopic Log, Our Society and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to This show is over..

  1. arpita says:

    Within her heart, her soul died, perhaps long time back
    She let her soul go on living outside her body, like a stranger. And then one day she just hugged herself and vowed to fall in love again with her soul.
    And then she was happy again – F…rom April to Olivia
    My heart broke and mended on its own with each emotion you wrote.
    B’ful is all I can say

    • Olivia says:

      You are one hell of a poet lady..
      May I say that you have read me very close and equally beautifully?

      I am smiles to have you around me.. you just said it in such a short note!!
      Love always xxx

  2. Bodhirose says:

    Perhaps this will represent the closure of that unhappy chapter in your life, Olivia. Thanks for sharing. xoxo

  3. Kavita says:

    Ohh.. I LOVE MADDIE too!!!! I remember buying her Ray of Light during my engineering days… I still have it, and still listen to it with the same enthusiasm…
    Anyway, somebody gifting something and then taking it back is like the cheapest act they can ever do!! Being associated with people with low thinking doesn’t really help one’s own self esteem… Good thing you guys aren’t me!
    So, cheers to the end of that episode! And cheers to good friends, and to freedom (in the truest of sense)

    • Olivia says:

      Thank you Kavs!!

      Although we haven’t met but I feel you kind of read me very well.. I know I have said it just so many times!!
      It did take a very long time to understand and accept the situation as was and then initiate steps to get away from him. The things don’t bother my mind any more- even though they do stand very much in the social sphere still- you know how double standards it is here in India.. 😦

      That said- it just doesn’t bother my skin anymore.. 🙂
      Love you so much for posting your words here.. xox

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