29th October, 2010
I am certainly “cranky” long after I am awake. No matter for how long I may have slept or what part of the day it was, I wake up pretty irritable.
Often, I keep tossing and turning like a lazy feline pretending to be asleep. Now, why am I telling you this?
Today was one such day!
Although I had slept for a little over 8 hours at night, I had kept moving around my house balancing my drowsy head over my shoulders. At 1.30 in the noon, I had decided to take a cat- nap.
Tossing, brooding, turning, brooding.. my eyelids seem to get heavy now.. brooding (still..!!)
This was on for next one hour. I had been unable to recall what I had thought of late last night- just before dozing off.
My mind seems to be at high alert before I doze off. Likewise, it keeps moving around when I have just woken up (and not wanting to leave the bed) It “talks” to me when I am half asleep and half awake. Like as if in state of “trans”. I may not be making any conscious efforts to think; yet it keeps flooding me with thoughts unconceivable, during waking hours. This is exactly when I make my poetries.
Ideas keep twinkling like million of stars in a moonless night. Meteors of conclusions, hit my brain, burning some part of it, where I may have stored my un- concluded brooding thoughts; thus, creating space for new thoughts. In a day or two, new ideas then start mushrooming..!!
This is the state I wish to be in forever. I may be “sleepy”- yet, my mind would be awake doing its research and development. Last night, one such thing had hit me hard (in my brains- thanks)
Originally, I had made that observation a few months back.. Yesterday, as if the book lay open in front of me- turning itself- page by page- unraveling the entire volume of story on Me. Comparisons- as they were, had kept unveiling themselves one after the other. I guess, maybe that’s why the saintly ones have their eyes half open. One, they can afford to; their Enlightened souls fill in for their active vision. Two, that’s when their mind is doing their “thinking”, let me guess- they already may have achieved a state of Bliss- a state of super- conscience.
Well, a “drunk” too is low on his reflexes. His faculties keep failing him. Whereas a learned scholar, keeps consumed within the power of knowledge- he manages to keep himself happy at all times- drunk or sober. Like Me.. 😀 He need not be “sleepy” for ideas to occur to him. I so wish to hit the state of that being myself.
Till then, I’ll keep typing as n when these particles (floating all around in the space- waiting to be deciphered) hit my mind-making me realize how handicap I am when awake.. as if without any wisdom!!
Related Post: My Mind is Alive..