The Phase of Transition

Previous- Was that an.. Affair?

Getting rid of VP had pronounced itself to be a major task!

One that became messier with each passing day. I certainly wanted no connections with someone who only knew how to cry and complain. Or maybe complain, get fed up of his own self and then cry. Whichever way, I myself was in a situation whereby I had wanted someone to take me out. Not that I could not have done it myself but if I were to hold a relationship, or wanting to be held in one, then that better be with some one who was as strong as I was if not more.

I had never wanted to nurture babies. That I do not like babies for myself is a different story altogether. Yet may be, the two facts are inter- linked too. It would not have hurt me to hold an open affair- then again; I wanted a man for the same and not a baby. It just sucks.

He still keeps trolling on my Social Profiles till I block him. The loser he is, he hunts me down from nowhere under newer names..!! It seems he would never be able to move on or forward- as if I care at all.

By that time, I had desperately looking for options to move out. Hemant had kept his indifferent- out cold attitude up, as if I was a piece of furniture. We just did not communicate ever since he had made me shift out of his parents’ place- my marital home. Not that he did much. Our marriage had spelled doom!

Once I had wanted to know where he worked. Complete 60 minutes had gone by, but he had not given a word out. Just how different was he being from my father? Shirking responsibilities and holding his parents’ ideals up like a torch, he was only being someone I would have loved to hate. He had conveniently forgotten that he had whined no end cribbing about his parents during our courting days. He would often call them hypocrites and overbearing. The very things that had irked me the way he had made me believe were the things he had forced me to abide by. It was when I had refused to take anymore, that his “manliness” had made him open the beast he was.

I had practically gone starving for 3 years, at his home because of his parents’ behavior. None of my friends were allowed to see me. Neither was I allowed to move anywhere. It now makes me feel sick recalling how within 15 days of my entering into that wedlock, his father had threatened me to either leave or love. Leave their place and love their redundant virtues.

Bit by bit, I was deciding to move away. At the same time, I was scared and had felt inhibited too. It had seemed that it was a little too much to pick up my scattered Life again and move forward. Realization of I having made a severe mistake had already hit me. I was finding it way to difficult to prepare a plan of action! The way I am, that also meant that I would then see no piece of that man- ever. No matter what, once I move on, I am gone away like a past. One that his passed, long back and gone away like the lost time. Exactly that, once I am gone- I am gone like the time spent. Memories would remain to be either cherished or to haunt you. I do not believe in another chance- 7 years was as long enough time for me to invest into a relationship. If it did not work in that span, it never would. Infact, it was never meant to be.

I had gone into major depression worrying sick that why at all I had agreed upon settling down with him even after when I had told him that I would never ever agree to, even if he came back.  My whole of 20s was gone wasted. I wondered why my thinking did not cover this season. Perhaps, the weather did not show any sign of turbulence.

While VP was busy playing pranks on me, his ex- Tanu’s fictitious cousin seemed to be quite drawn to me.

The first day he had called, I had known that the girl is pretty mindless to have done that. It was she who had yapped her story of she being an adopted one, this cousin had appeared from no where on the block. He seemed to be well mannered. His voice was good. Yes, I had liked to talk to him. After speaking with him for about 15 minutes, I had pretended busy and asked him to call little later. My inner voice had kept telling me to talk to him. He was a married man with two grown up kids. His wife and children did not stay with him and he sounded somewhat different than an upstart.

The whole of evening I had spent pondering which way to lead. I was called up by someone who was a complete stranger and yet had charmed me no end. Was that my change to change my mundane situation yet another time? Will he be able to show some different tangent to then current pattern of Life? Not knowing of anything else, I had decided to talk to him, for as long and as much time as possible.

Hemant had as usual not bothered with where I was or what I did. This pseudo cousin did call me up in the evening. We had then talked the whole of evening and night, till late morning. He talked and I had listened. I was determined to check if that was an opportunity or a fly by. He had almost narrated his whole story in those 11 hours of time frame. He too had “enjoyed” his share of issues. I had only deduced my notes from whatever he spoke. His choice of words, exact events and even the narration; everything was run under my “scanner”.

Glad I had left Baxy a month back. I had all the time of my Life to straighten up the jumbled wires. In that one night’s conversation, I had known of him, his family, his values, his culture and every thing else that is required to about some one. I do not get thrills in exploring bit by bit. I like to know everything clear cut before I take plunge to create waves.

This occurrence had become regularity from the next evening onwards. I had felt secured speaking with him. It did not seem that I was being casual or subjecting myself to any possible harm. He talked of everything under the sun- from Relationships to Indifference. I had only patiently heard whatever he had talked of. My mind had not been judgemental about him. Instead, it seemed that I was really hit hard by an opportunity.

It apparently happened. I had seen that approaching. He had asked me out for lunch.

Okay. Fair enough.

Wait. Wow..!!

I had politely declined 😦

What the..

I had wanted to be sure of my ownself. I just did not want to take any blind leaps. Not that I had before; however, where I was then, I could not afford to take one either. I had been too focused to hear what all he said. His perspective and thoughts were too closely studied by me. I had tried to read him through his words. I drew an image of his where by I colored that sketch with the words he spoke on that subjects. His views painted his eyes, his choice of words colored his mouth. His thoughts and beliefs had shaped up his head, his narration of actions framed his limbs.

With every single word that he had talked over the phone, to me, I had designed him from head to toe. I was pleasantly pleased with the final picture that had appeared.

It seemed that he was my opportunity indeed. An opportunity that was potent enough to shape up my future too. Oops, I had gone too far thinking. I was need to go and see him before anything else. I was anyways sore after what had happened with Himanshu a couple of years back.

22nd May, 2007

I had gone out to see a man 18 years elder to me sat inside an Indigo. He was bald- yikes!! I had never come across any bald worth remembering. Nevermind, I had still wanted to sit inside the car. He sported a moustache too.. ouchie! Anyways who cared- I was not going to kiss him. From whatever I had known of about him, neither was he going to. Okay, age difference, generation gap et al.

“At last we meet..” The words rolled by as if from a long lost love. I had smiled politely. He had wanted to know where I would want to go. He had declared a ruling already. I was to decide for the place to go out to. Hmm.. So he wanted a woman to rule him. Not bad.

My tiger print top (self designed) and my grayish white denim jeans had made me look desirable. A fact disclosed much later. He was sat calmly with absolutely no ogling happening on me. We had gone to “It’s Greek To Me” at SDA market. I had liked the place that was some what semi- formal. It was almost a fine- dining joint. Was I glad to have agreed for a lunch date with him? You bet, a gentleman, with a fine set of manners and taking out to a fine dining- just what else would I need on a date, besides some intelligent talks?

I had only smiled at my keen observation. This man was indeed a charmer. He knew how to woo some one like me. Or is it that he too had wanted some one like me to get along?

That was only a brief and a beautiful trailer of the time that was to soon come. A lovely time that had lasted for a very short while.

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About Olivia

Corporate worker, textile designer, writer.
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23 Responses to The Phase of Transition

  1. Pingback: Olivia's Life Instances..

  2. I thought my life was tough!I agree with Eric.We pale in comparison.

    They say life is all about Timing.Though I still to find a perfect timing to live my life.I hope the perfect time for you to havea real honest to goodness guy that would deserve you.

    Thanks for dropping by my blog.And till this very second I’m still in war with my brain cells on how to make my poem go with the flow I want.Appreciate your lovely words!

    • Olivia says:

      LOLsss June Dear, it is telepathy I guess.. was just thinking of you- I read one of your comments at one Blog when I was posting invites.. 🙂 That perhaps stayed in mind! Don’t remember the contents but your name was up in my mind.

      Believe you Me, I have lived the most adventurous Life of the modern times possible. If you follow “My Life Instance” at the right side of the widgets of the Blog, you would know what I mean..!

      That said, I am pretty contented with the fact how now I am surrounded by such beautiful people across the globe- you included.. 🙂 It definitely stuffs me up how a pigeon does after her wash in one of my bird- baths.. Sorry, their bird- bath.. LOLsss

      Jokes apart, I have now concluded that I may be required to balance many of my faulty Karmas because of which I had fallen into such a mysterious Life- cycle. The next moment itself is a miracle if it unfolds without the usual fireworks.. 😀

      Thank you so much for stopping by- I so appreciate yours beautiful words here.. I too am a lesser mortal as of now- 😦

      Loads of Love My Dear xoxox

  3. thewhitebuffalowoman says:

    Thanks for visiting my blog 🙂 Very interesting writing, sorry you won’t have time to update more.

    • Olivia says:

      Will have to wait till the next month- unless my hormones surge one day or night and urger me to kill the next in the sequence.. 🙂

      Thank you for visiting Me.. Love xxx

  4. Just wanted to drop by and say hello and see how things were going for you. You have such an interesting story to tell, and I thought it was humorous that you said you wanted a ‘boring life’ (that might have been in the comments rather than the post.) Even if things are too ‘exciting’ at times, better in my opinion to live an interesting life off the beaten path rather than following the crowd. Besides, the crowd usually doesn’t know where it is going any more than we do! Thanks for your efforts at telling your story, it is wonderful to feel like I can get to know you reading your own explanations of your life’s story. Keep your head up and I am sure you’ll find everything you are looking for. Keep up the great writing, and take care of yourself my friend. You deserve all the goodness you can find. Take care,


    • Olivia says:

      Wow.. with a friend like you, I guess I have it all!

      * BOW *
      You read even the comments- wowow
      I am so spell bound for your reading me and my story and trying to know me through my Writes. That was exactly my Intention when i had created this Blog Space!!

      You are so right about Crowd. While typing I just noticed the spelling- CROW-D.. whatever!!

      Thank you so much for your words here. It feels great someone appreciating the things which are so not related to him or her. As I alway say- I am blessed to have you and everyone else that I do.. Take care..

      Love xxx

  5. snigdha says:

    Hi Olivia,

    Don’t you ever ever go back or welcome back this VP guy. I know these people from their skin beneath and trust me he has all the warning signs. Take care of yourself and be good.



    • Olivia says:

      Thanks a big bunchie Snigs Darling!!
      You are so sweet to have accepted this small little pet name.. 🙂

      In only a few months, this guy had made me go through hell. My mistake to have put that as 2010.. 😛
      His mannerisms, choice of words, views- it all stank!! I mean for him “sleeping over” is the most detrimental of all things- if only he knew even how to initiate- nevermind..@#^%@##!@#^
      Even now, he keeps sending obsolete sns sites invite under his brother’s name! Does he not get tired..?

      Thankyou so much for your wishes.. need all and more.. 🙂
      Loads of Love to you

  6. Eric Alder says:

    Lots to take in here, Olivia. I had no idea you were leading such a tumultuous life!
    (I don’t envy that, but it does make my ordinary existence seem a little… flat)

    It’s also interesting to see how relationships are handled in other parts of the world.

    I hope you find someone/something worthy of such an interesting, intelligent lady.

    • Olivia says:

      LOLss Eric, I yearn to lead a boring Life myself- LOLsss

      I tell you, it’s been like a roller coaster since the last 33 years now. Not even a single day have I been able to take rest..!! I now want lot of friends, a big social circle and salvation.. Have I become old already..?

      Love MyD xox

      • Eric says:

        You’re only as old as your heart feels and your mind thinks.
        Heck, I wish I was 33 again! (I’m 46)

        I’m sure you will find what you seek, if that remains your goal.

  7. Scent of my heart says:

    Is that true story? Interesting … Loved reading it! ♥♥♥

    • Olivia says:

      Yessss… My Biography.. filed under My Life Instances.. Links at the right side widgets.. 🙂
      Thankyou My Bubble Darling.. xoxoxox ♥♥♥ (haha I did it too.. LOLsss)

      • Scent of my heart says:

        Well … I’ve read few things before but thought it was only a story and then didn’t know you that well to ask is it fiction or what 🙂

        • Olivia says:

          okays… the thumb rule while reading me is I don’t do fiction- it just does not come to me.. 😦
          I am going very slow because of Nano and Community commitments.. By the end of this month, I’ll be the super woman of blogging.. LOLsss

          Pleae feel free to ask as many and as much you wish to- I thought we were pretty close.. 🙂
          Love xoxox

          • Scent of my heart says:

            Good that you have so many true things to write about, hopefully nice things! Good luck with Nano! Love back 🙂

            • Olivia says:

              I have actually- but all very tricky ones. I do have the good ones too- but feel they were too short to even have been felt.. May be those are yet to happen.. A few things good that have happened is- Blogging and a friend like you- all fellow bloggers included.. 🙂

              Thanks for the Luck- need it bad..!! xx

            • Scent of my heart says:

              You will have beautiful things to happen! I’m sure! Feelings mutual :)! xoxo

            • Olivia says:

              I know- only the time of wait is killing me.. 🙂 Hugs xx

            • Scent of my heart says:

              don’t think of this time 🙂 and it will stop killing you! ♥♥♥

            • Olivia says:

              My Lovely bubble- it no longer hurts- have taken all in my stride- how else would I be writing my Biography? That said, I usually keep the memories of my Past vivid. Almost as if in a bio scope.. 🙂
              Love MyD- xox

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